Bam! Obituaries.

Random Job Reflections.

2011-10-25T11:17:00.000-04:00

It's great to be back to work. There's been a boost to my self-esteem. I have a routine again. I have coworkers again. I get to interact with complete strangers for very short periods of time.
I'm working for a warehouse store. Not the one owned by Walmart. This place doesn't just offer bulk, oversized products. We also sell regular and high-end items at a discounted rate - TVs, iPods, iPhones, jewelry, coffins, tires, books, DVDs…
I'm not just bragging here, but many people have told me that they often find the Sam's or Walmart generic brands lacking. Those that have shopped our store find our signature brand equal or superior to manufacturer brands and often more economical.
My job title is Cashier's Assistant. Think bag boy with boxes instead of bags. I basically take things from one cart and try to put them back into another cart in an organized way. That's usually hindered by the order that things were taken out and how fast the cashier is.
Every lane is an express lane.
I also help out with stock, and most recently, cleaning the bakery. I may start selling seafood by the end of the week.
In the bakery, I walked on cinnamon covered floors a quarter of an inch thick. It was like working in Christmas town's bakery. Fresh fruit cakes were cooling nearby. They also have two walk in ovens and a walk in dishwasher. I could wash every dish in my house at once in that thing.
My job is somewhat physically demanding (I'm way out of shape). I sweat a lot. Someone asked me if something had been spilled on me the first night I worked. Customers seem to think it implies I'm working harder than everyone else. My arms are getting stronger. I don't really feel the soreness until the night before my day off. It's like I psychosomatically suppress the aches and pains.
As physical as the job may be, it's still pretty darn easy.
Working with the stock department seems to stress me out a bit, but in reality, that's pretty easy too. Things are just a bit heavier. Extra large bags of dog food and cat litter weigh a ton. Okay. They weigh fifty pounds.
Perhaps my high blood pressure situation will lessen a bit with all this sweating and lifting.
Sometimes we run out of boxes, and we just have to put it all back into the cart. I'm guessing this makes the transfer of goods from the car to the house less fun when customers have purchased more than $500 worth of groceries.
I like that our company will refuse to sell brands when their respective companies demand that we charge more money for their products. This happened with Coca-Cola a few years back. Coke was removed from the stores for about six months before they gave in. There's a certain peanut butter that isn't on the shelves right now for the same reason. It's awesome to tell customers that we don't carry certain items anymore because the supplier wanted us to charge more for no reason other than profit.
I work for the largest retailer of wine in the world, and it's obvious. Most carts exit the store with at least one bottle.
We sell a ton of organic, natural, and unprocessed food, but we also sell alcohol in gallon bottles.
There has been a little culture shock for me. My monthly grocery budget is around $300. The majority of customers at this store spend anywhere from $300-$500 each visit. There are plenty of people that just pop in for the basics, but the larger orders are much more common.
On a daily basis, some couple comments that they only stopped in to grab coffee creamer and ended up spending $500. They stopped in for a $4 half gallon of organic dairy creamer for coffee, and on a whim, they purchase a cart full of grocery items and a television or a pair of diamond earrings. Every single day I've worked, this scenario is presented to me. I've only been working there for about 10 days so my ability to exaggerate hasn't really developed yet.
I get the premise. It happens to me at Meijer. I stop in for milk, but end up spending an extra $20 that wasn't planned on cookies, soda, and some fresh fruit that sounds great at that moment. I have yet to accidentally get hooked on the idea of buying a flat screen TV when I only needed bread.
Despite how this might make our prices sound, there are some really affordable, regular items down there. It makes sense to buy a huge bottle of ibuprofin for $6 when the same $6 gets you a much smaller bottle at more common stores. It makes sense, that is, if you go through a regular bottle in a short amount of time.
The other culture difference: I seem to be one of very few employees that's married. Even fewer seem to have kids. Many of my coworkers are younger than me, but most are around age 30.
Having been unemployed for more than two years, I've kind of fallen out of practice when dealing with customers. 95% of them are polite and thankful. It's the other 5% that I had hoped had grown more kind in my absence. They have not.
I get that we're there to offer services to our customers. I support that idea. I just wish, even if they view us as beneath them, that they could find it in their hearts to not actually treat us as such.
I get that most difficult customers are projecting problems in their own lives onto us. Working in fast food taught me that lesson quickly.
I've found, in years past, the most satisfying thing to do is to remain calm and polite to the end. I don't think all difficult customers are looking for a reaction, but I know some of them are, even unconsciously. Even after someone says something completely rude to me, I thank them and wish them a good day. That's not always easy.
Some people really do seem to expect miracles.
Some people get agitated when you offer to box things up for them. Other act like they're building the coolest fort with our boxes. They take way more boxes than would normally make sense.
I miss my kids.
Our family, as a whole, is still adjusting to all the schedule and responsibility shifts.
The Fleet Foxes album, Sun Giant is making for great Autumn listening.
My highest recommendation for Halloween movie viewing: Trick R Treat. You can usually pick it up for $5 at Walmart on DVD. That's a steal for such an awesome, recent horror gem.

Our Yearly Anniversary Trip

2011-10-11T09:51:00.006-04:00

I have a job! It's only a seasonal position, but it's for a great company. At this point, a job that lasted two weeks would be a huge boost to my self esteem.
I miss having coworkers and a daily, employed routine.
Three years ago, my wife and I started a tradition for our anniversary. We head north, try to hit a few places that are photographic, we try to hike, and we find a place to stay for the night. Three years ago, October was still considered part of Autumn with cooler weather.
Most tourist locations considered October to be the beginning of "the off season." Rooms were cheap and plentifully available. Hiking trails were almost abandoned, free from interuption.
For the past two years in a row the tempuratures for the first weekend in October have been in the seventies and eighties. Finding a hotel room has proven to be near impossible without reservations. Hiking trails are clogged with people and not the kind that seem to appreciate the setting they are clogging.
I need my yearly dose of nature and Autumn beauty. The trees appeared to be on fire everywhere we went. This yearly visit resets my eyes, helps me appreciate things I often overlook.
This past weekend, we were on a beautiful trail in the Sleeping Bear Dunes area of northern Michigan. More than a few things got on my nerves. I should point out, this wasn't a dog-walk specific trail. Dogs were allowed, but it wasn't like it was a designated dog run.
There were nearly as many dogs on the trail as people.
Animal people often act as if everyone should be happy to meet and greet their pets.
Even the people that didn't have dogs were talking about pets… loudly. Most of the natural inhabitants of the hiking areas I was trying to enjoy tend to run away when they hear loud conversations about animal waste management.
When we arrived at Empire Bluff, we were greeted by an awe inspiring view of the dune filled coast of Lake Michigan. There was a great, beautiful contrast between the fall leaves and the deep blue of the lake. You can see for miles: little towns dotting here and there, endless Fall colors…
I found it kind of crazy that some of the visitors seemed totally oblivious to all of it. The trail ends in a loop that allows you to quickly exit the scenic area if you choose. Many people would literally stomp around the loop and exit without pausing at all.
Wow. They missed it.
At the Dunes Visitor Center, cougars are listed as extinct in Michigan and have been "for decades." When you get to the hiking trails, there are notices telling you that encountering cougars is a possibility, but to avoid trying to interact with them at all costs.
I thought I understood what the word extinct meant.
We ended up finding a room about 150 miles farther south than we intended. The Days Inn had a mural on the wall that showed elfish looking leprechans stealing money from some sort of palace.
??????
Nothing makes my hotel staying experience better like theiving elf murals.
On our way home, we headed for the west side of the state. We ended up in Ludington. What a strange little town. There were a few large hotels right on Lake Michigan. I'm guessing that tourism is a huge factor for the town.
Their art community was very obviously a huge influence too. We passed many little galleries filled with young people on a Sunday morning.
Then there were the churches. We parked in their downtown area. All the buildings were very old, but most of them were full and have obviously been updated.
We were hungry, looking for a place to have lunch. Heidi noticed a group of older, well dressed folks standing outside of what appeared to be a business. It ended up being a Church of Christ. As we walked by, I noticed that pews packed the small space.
Directly across the street, in a remodeled movie theater, was another church. The people standing outside and sitting inside were much younger. They were all wearing black and grey sweaters - still dressy, but more beatnicky. Instead of pews, they were sitting on chairs in a communal like circle around what appeared to be the pastor. It looked more like a coffee shop. The marquee listed their three service times instead of movies.
My wife and I love to sample micro-brewed beer, so we tried to visit two breweries while we were up north. They were both a bust.
The first one was in Traverse City, and they had an hour and a half wait.
The second was in Ludington, and lunch for the two of us would have ran more than thirty dollars. Craft beer and twenty dollar plates of lobster pasta make for a strange business profile in my opinion, but to each their own. It kind of feels like a mix of football and neck ties.
The Fleet Foxes make for a great soundtrack to an Autumn roadtrip in Michigan.

Highlights and Thoughts Provoked from Mitch Albom's Have a Little Faith, In Random Form of Course

2011-09-06T15:07:00.003-04:00

I wanted to try something new. I read a lot, and I always take notes. I'd love to share some of the points that really stuck out to me, some of the things that I'm still chewing on because of this book.

I'm going to try to paraphrase some of these things. I don't think posting these few quotes from the book will diminish the overall reading experience. The book is really about a journey. I don't think you can even say that it's about a journey to faith. The conclusion is really left to the reader in that respect. It's more like a journey through certain revelations for the author.

Most of these lessons I'm about to list are actually from Mitch's rabbi, The Reb.

Things that grow slowly are more formidable. Things that grow quickly, crumble easily.
If you're going to lead or teach people spiritually, there is no room for cynicism.
Life holds a lot more hope when we believe God has chosen to answer our prayers negatively instead of believing He isn't out there listening in the first place, especially when sudden death or illness is concerned. I have atheist friends, and I wonder how they feel about things like this. If life is pointless. We're here by accident for no real reason. We die, and it's done, then how much more pointless is all this suffering?
"The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still voice within." Mohandas Gandhi
Olam Habah - the world to come. This sticks out to me because I recently read an argument that the Christian faith is a faith mainly concerned with the future. It's not about what we are, but what we're becoming. That's not to say that we sit back and let the future unfold, or that we're in any way responsible for creating the final outcome. By participating now, we're becoming now.
The creation story that Judeo Christian traditions follow does not mention the word 'bad.' God did not create bad things. I study the creation story regularly, and this never occurred to me. I think he's talking about inherent goodness or badness here. We all have this choice. We weren't made bad.
When you worry about God's judgement, you shouldn't worry about you versus the other guy. You should worry about God measuring you against you - how far you've come compared to where you were.
Start any reconciliation with humility, "I've thought things over, and in some ways, you might be right." Even if you don't believe it. From my experience, this is great advice. I've often been labeled a diplomatic guy. I've helped facilitated a few reconciliations in my day, and I can tell you, humble keeps people listening. Anger does not.
The take away from the book: Even if you're not actively seeking a faith, God, etc… if you know people that are obviously enamored with God, try to take some time to have a conversation with these people. You might walk away experiencing something beautiful. Ask them some tough questions.
I'm starting a file of my own, titled simply, "God."

Other Random Thoughts, Non-book Related:

Sorry salespeople out there, I hate the phrase, "It's a No Brainer." What it implies to me is, don't even bother thinking about all the angles. Just go for it. Living in this economy, no brainers often lead to more jobs for repo men.
What's acceptable to wear after Labor Day? How about clothes? Don't we have enough to concern ourselves with already without worrying about whether or not white is acceptable? And Acceptable to whom?

Random Stuff on God, Faith, and My Kids

2011-09-02T12:21:00.005-04:00

If you were to start a file titled 'God,' what would you put in it?
I should write a sermon on that one. Would you guys read my sermons?
Have you ever had a week that seems to have a theme, like God is shouting something at you? For about a week now, my theme, the word that keeps being repeated over and over again in differing forms is: ritual.
I'm reading more than one book right now. One is about the ways that we should approach Bible study. The other is about finding faith. They're actually, on the surface at least, oceans away from one another. One is more instructional. The other is more of a memior. They're both bringing me back to this idea of ritual, or habit.
My own local pastor mentioned something very similar in his sermon last Sunday. He was talking more about habits that keep you growing spiritually, but to me, that's the same thing. Here's a link to that sermon - click here.
Ritual. Ritual. Ritual.
In the more memoir oriented book, the author asks a great question: If you wanted to connect yourself to anyone in the past through ritual, who would it be? Would it be a group? The idea being, you would mimic their behavior or rituals in hopes of seeing some truth that they obviously knew. In a way, ritual can be like time travel, you can connect with people that are no longer among the living.
Ponder that for a month.
In the same book, the author stopped running from God around the year 2000, the basic same timeline that I stopped running from God.
Thinking this over, it's staggering to think about where I was then, at the beginning of faith, and where I am now. How many books have I read on the subject since then? How many articles? Not to mention all the things that have come and gone in my life: A house, two kids, a dream job gained and lost, a community of people I'm now connected with, friends come and gone.
Staggering.
The other book, the one that's just trying to lead to a more open minded reading of Scripture, it's a dense book. Full of tons of ideas and tangents, but they're all great fun and somewhat revelatory. It's hard to put down, but full of things that I could ponder for hours and hours on their own.
One of the big ideas I think the author is trying to get at is the idea that we should take care not to make more of the Bible than we do God. Don't let the Bible itself become an idol to the point that we ignore what we know about God.
If we know and experience God in a positive, loving way, why are we so easily convinced that God isn't loving when we encounter Scripture that appears to portray him as less so?
He highly recommends further study, especially in regards to context, history, culture, and even possible problems with translation errors when we're talking about the English language.
None of this is exactly new to me, but he does have some amazing illustrations that he uses to make his points.
If curiosity has gotten the better of you, the authors I'm currently reading are Peter Gomes and Mitch Albom - again, in many ways, oceans apart. The books, The Good Book, Reading with Mind and Heart and Have a Little Fatih, A True Story. The latter is available right now at a local, going out of business, Borders store near you at a very reasonable price.
I've gotten back in to some of my rituals this week.
I may do another random post soon based on the Albom book. I'm only about a quarter of the way through the Gomes tomes, they're going to be a while.
I like to face my fears. I don't want my life to be ruled by fear. Here's the thing though… I'm terrified of whales. I don't think I can face that fear. They're down there in the deep, big enough to swallow a person whole.
My kids ask for broccoli when we're grocery shopping. I'm proud, but it's also weird. I'm sure it's our fault too.
Has anyone else experienced this? We've bought about a hundred ink pens in the past two years. Do you think I can ever find one? My kids love to draw, so they're always snatching the pens, but what are they doing with them? Are they somehow falling into the foundation of my house? Is the upholstery of our couch packed with pens?

Our Social Self, Irony, Batman and The Matrix

2011-08-23T09:34:00.000-04:00

Material Faith from Peter Rollins on Vimeo.

Ed's Story: Hope when Facing Death

2011-08-22T12:31:00.000-04:00

Snipe. Snipe. Snipe.

2011-08-22T11:10:00.004-04:00

We arrived Sunday afternoon to Harrisville State Park which opens up onto beautiful Lake Huron. It had been rainy that day, so the white caps were coming in strong. It made for fun swimming.
We weren't at the campground more than twenty minutes, and Owen's glasses were swept out to sea never to be seen again. We were so tired from traveling and so excited about the waves, we neglected to take the precaution of removing them before he went in the water.
He was devastated.
I, was not. I was already in full vacation mode. Nothing could remove my level of relaxation. They were gone. Let's not ruin the rest of the trip.
He screamed at the water, "I need those to read!"
My wife kept asking me if I was "really angry." As if I was hiding it well or something.
Nope.
Skunks. Skunks everywhere!
Our first morning in camp was greeted with a tiny neighbor girl trying to get us to look at a jar. Her father asked, "Would you like your kids to come over and see our bat? We found him on our tent this morning. He's been acting kind of sickly, so we put him in a jar."
Let me interject this tidbit: I'm paranoid and deathly afraid of the idea of rabies. Bats and Skunks are two of the most common animals to carry said disease.
I shook my head in a negative manner, but I think the expression on my face conveyed much more. Shortly thereafter, the little girl returned. In a rather crestfallen voice she told us that the bat had been let go. I think the father realized handling bats, especially those "acting kind of sickly," was not a great idea for anyone.
I actually felt a bit guilty for conveying so much with my face.
My camping trip seemed to have a theme emerging - me facing my fears without ruining the vacation with fits of anxiety. I'm happy to say I conquered from beginning to end.
I don't sleep well in strange places. It takes me a few days to settle in. So, I often don't sleep well when on vacation. The first night in camp wasn't too bad as far as noise was concerned.
The second night, trains started going through. There are tracks in the front of the park, so we're talking less than a block or so from our site. I can't relay in words how loud their cautionary horns were. There were multiple trains that second night. Good times.
You can successfully cook chicken noodle soup over a campfire. It was great!
Those huge marshmallows that they sell now, you better have a good cooking fork. Once those things go molten, it's near impossible to keep them on a stick. They are perfect for smores though.
Another tip: if they go molten and start to fall, DON'T TRY TO CATCH THEM WITH YOUR BARE HAND!
When you get into small towns, like Harrisville, it's fun to visit their grocery stores. They're very different than the stores I'm used to. Their selection is small on most things. Harrisville has one grocery store, and I don't believe there's another grocer for at least thirty miles. Even in the neighboring towns, the stores are pretty basic.
This IGA in Harrisville, they had a huge Michigan-based, micro-brewed beer selection. How very surprising. My wife and I love to sample micro-brewed beer. We drink about two bottles a week, and we share those two bottles. So, it's not about the buzz. It's about the flavor. We generally hate most big chain beers.
They also had this rootbeer called Frostop everywhere I went up there. It's hard to find down this way, but I highly recommend it. They also make a Carmel Cream Soda that is like nothing I've ever drank before. 99¢ gets you a 40 oz.
The first 40 I ever drank was a Cream Soda.
The best part of my whole three-night camping experience: Taking Owen on a Snipe Hunt, just the two of us. Harrisville State Park has a great, semi-paved nature trail perfect for Snipe hunting in the dark. I told him that snipes were small, elf-like creatures with bright red noses. We walked about a block into the woods saying, "Snipe. Snipe. Snipe." After a while, I asked Owen if he'd remembered the cheese? Snipes won't come out if there's no cheese. We turned around, toward camp when the flashlight started to flicker. Did I mention the bats and skunks?
Praying on a deserted beach with a full moon overhead, waves crashing just a few feet away - great experience!

Non-Camping Randomness:

How can I put this nicely? Who loved the G.I.Joe movie? I was never a big fan, so this isn't a fanboy whine fest, but I watched the cartoon when I was a kid. I found the recent live-action movie comical on many levels, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't supposed to be. They're now making a sequel, and they've attracted some huge action-star names: Bruce Willis and The Rock. I guess it's a good sign. Maybe part 2 will be infinitely better.
We were playing Apples to Apples with some friends the other day. Someone made the euphemism between coconuts and breasts. It wasn't me.
The very next day we're driving on Miller Road, and for whatever reason, Gage points out Hooters. I think it was the owl that caught his attention. The boys wanted to know what kind of restaurant it was. I jokingly said they have coconuts. Owen replied, "They have milk in them!" Heidi and I laughed. The kids were puzzled.
I never thought I'd do a post mentioning Hooters.
I'm sure I'm guilty of not hearing the words coming from my mouth. Sitting at the play area in Genesee Valley Mall recently with the kids, a mom sits down near me. As her barefoot son runs up she says, "I sure wish you had socks to wear so you didn't have to walk around on this dirty flooring filled with the fungus of all these other barefooted kids here."
Wow. So, my kids and the other children present were apparently quite dirty in her estimation, and she didn't feel ashamed at all to share that with the rest of us.
She did leave pretty quickly after that, so maybe her words finally sunk in to her own ears.
Before anyone points it out, I know, they're supposed to be wearing socks. I've also noticed that very few kids ever do in the Summer. Too many kids are wearing sandals.
Socks and Summer do not go hand-in-hand.
I like fish. I love pizza. I hate anchovies. Nasty.
On a related, tongue-in-cheek note: I'm in mourning. My favorite pizza place in Davison, Rocco's Pizza, was sold last week. It's gone. Gone.
I took the kids to a Vacation Bible School a few weeks back. I wore a t-shirt that says, "I don't go to church…" on the front, and "I am the church." on the back. It didn't wear it because I wanted to make a statement. It was really the only t-shirt I had clean that day. Every day there was this one lady that insisted I stay long enough to hear the opening worship songs. She said it was because she feared Gage would be more comfortable with me there, but I think she just missed the back of my shirt.
Snipe. Snipe. Snipe.

Giant, Over Complicated Looking, Explody Robot Destructo Machines

2011-07-06T10:53:00.006-04:00

Dear Summer, I'm sorry. You and I are just not going to make it. I'll still bring the kids around once in a while. They deserve their time with you. I just can't stand the constant sweating, the way the sun effects my skin. We need some time apart. Let's just try to get through the next few months existing together as best as possible.
I'm reading a book right now that acknowledges the hardships of parenting, and gives the advice of just being consistent and staying the course even if things appear to be in vain.
It also acknowledges a lot of the specific hardships I've encountered: wife and husband disagreeing on things, kids appearing to ignore certain lessons… I could keep going.
Gage is a never ending stream of words lately. His grammatical skills are surely lacking, but he gets the points across most of the time.
When he can't see, he makes it painfully obvious. One night we were at our local school playground. The sun was setting and had blinded him a bit. He shouted, "I can't see my eyes! I can't see my eyes!" Likely there should have been a comma or pause in there, but…
He has eagle eyes for fast food restaurants. Which might make you think we eat out a lot, but that's really not the case. He just has a great memory. As we pass just about any restaurant, he identifies what type of food they sell and adds, "I gotta get some."
Bob Evans is known as "Pancakes." If you try to explain that it's called Bob Evans, he gets a bit angry.
Owen is obsessed with the clock, telling time. A good thing to be constantly concerned about in some ways. A bit annoying in other ways.
The main reason for his obsession is a show called Wild Kratts on PBS. The show starts at 5:00 p.m. Monday through Thursday. It is educational. He does absorb every second of it. His life seems to revolve around it lately.
He's doing that fact finding thing kids his age do. "What would happen if you took a bath in fire? What if you tried to eat 100 cheese tacos? How come you only kiss me on the top of my head instead of on the mouth?"
What I'm about to say will shock you: I liked the Land of the Lost movie. I had avoided it like the plague because so many people hated it, but I borrowed it from the library last week. I liked it. It was funny and fantastical. I was never a huge fan of the TV show. I caught it in syndication, but the TV show never endeared itself to me.
I'm sure I just lost a bunch of credibility in the movie review department.
The new Transformers movie is out. I really wish they would have just made up a new franchise. I know. I know. I'm an annoying fan boy that just wants things to be the way they were when I was eight years old. The thing is, I might enjoy these movies if they just changed the names of the characters. That would remove my expectations.
Maybe they could release a dubbed over version that replaces all the characters' names. They could call the movies, Giant, Over Complicated Looking, Explody Robot Destructo Machines. I'd pay to see that.
They finally made a Simon Pegg movie I didn't like, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. It wasn't totally terrible, but it was too long or poorly edited. I'm not sure. I just didn't get the same enjoyment out of the flick.
Can someone clone Desmond Tutu please?
I'm officially a year older this week. I don't really care for birthdays anymore. My hair has been grey for years now. No one cards me anymore. It's been a while since someone called me, "Young Man."
We have a tent that claims it will sleep nine people. We put four air mattresses inside which left room for two people to sleep at our feet. If nine people slept together in that tent, it would be an intimate, lack of personal space, uncomfortable evening.
My favorite headlines lately: "Police Say Drunk Man Tried to Operate on Dog" and "Monkey Steals Camera, Takes Self Portraits." Some would say they both contain the best parts of the story in the headlines, but I want to know what type of operation we were talking here. Was it brain surgery? Did the dog have a bowel obstruction?
I don't like to judge other people's parenting skills, but when you go out to watch fireworks in public, you see things that you can't help but judge. If a kid throws a lit sparkler in the air toward a stranger holding a baby, you just don't hand him firecrackers ten minutes later for him to light by himself. It's like saying, "Here. You almost burned a stranger's baby, now go blow off your hands."
A few years back the local TV news started running stories about what types of fireworks were legal in Michigan and which weren't. Basically, if it leaves the ground or explodes, it's illegal. Here's the catch. I was working at a newspaper at the time, and we were running ads for a local fireworks dealer that advertised bottle rockets and firecrackers (flying, exploding). We called the local police to see if the advertisement was promoting something illegal.
Their response was this: Dealers can sell any type of fireworks. Consumers can buy any type of fireworks. Consumers can not legally set off any type of fireworks in Michigan just because they can legally purchase them here.
Of course, no one really cares because you see huge displays flying and exploding in most Michigan suburbs all the time.
I think I've stated this before: I'm not very nostalgic for actual eighties music. I do, however, enjoy modern music that is clearly heavily influenced by the eighties.

Random Randomness with a Strong Dash of the Politics

2011-06-17T12:48:00.003-04:00

This one's a bit political folks. If such things anger you, you might want to steer clear.

Owen has this habit of rambling about his imaginings. I remember similar traits in myself at this age. It usually goes something like this:
"I was flying a plane through the lightning storm. Boom. It was like explosions. And I landed on an island that was covered in lava that I had to jump over, and there was these creatures… I went 'pow, pow, pow, pow' with my fists to stop them. I was running…"
Somewhere toward the end he'll insert some question pertaining to reality like, "Can I have some ginger ale with dinner?"
On my way home from Grand Blanc one day, I decided to travel Dort Highway north. It was the middle of the day. What could we encounter?
How about a dude walking drunkenly through heavy traffic? The police pulled up and tried to detain him. He fought the officer.
The officer, as cool as a cucumber, with little effort of his own, casually grabs the guy's arm, turns his own arm an obviously well practiced way, and takes the guy to the ground as if this maneuver were as easy to him as breathing.
I observed all of this sitting at a traffic light.
We watched Gnomeo and Juliet. The kids liked it.
The voice talent was entirely British. As I watched the deer character, I thought I heard the voice of Ozzy Osbourne. I thought to myself, "No. It can't be. This is a Disney movie, and there are lots of British accents. There are probably thousands of British people that sound exactly like Ozzy. This is likely some dude I've never heard of." It ended up being Ozzy. I have a well tuned Ozzy ear apparently.
We were in Borders book store last Friday. It was actually hopping with an open mic night. Even the employees were commenting on how busy they were.
Minding my own business, two men walked up and stood about two feet from me arguing about politics. Without warning, the younger man shouts a reply that includes the N-word.
Most people wouldn't call me quick to anger, but few things anger me more quickly than racism. The men were walking away at this point, and I very intently walked the opposite direction with many angry words boiling in my brain.
I circled back around as a young lady was confronting the younger man about what he had just done. Another group of young ladies was standing closer to me openly making fun of the guy.
Two minutes later I noticed that there were two transvestites in the store too. It actually made me happier to see them so comfortable. I'm often drawn to those that many would consider misfits.
I watched a Presidential Candidate Debate recently. It doesn't matter which side it was for. Some of the questions seemed so pointless.
"Do you consider yourself pro-life?" In this day and age, I feel this is a pointless question for many reasons especially when you consider which party the debate was for.
They also asked, "Should the child of illegal immigrants receive emergency medical treatment without holding insurance?" This was a much better, much more telling question.
To me, this question gets to the heart of the matter much more quickly. Or maybe a better way of putting it is, it tells us if there is a heart to begin with much more quickly.
With the first question they're trying to point out that they have a connection to God or their perceived "Christian values." The problem is, with the second question, they often miss what should be the same connection.
So often in politics things get turned into political jargon. The arguments start by discussing budgets, policies, and money instead of people and humanity.
If a child is left to suffer in any way, the next question needs to be, "What happened to your heart?" Or maybe, "Do you think God, Christ, would let any child suffer if treatment was available?" Or perhaps, "What difference does age make when we're talking about humane treatment?"
Another thing bothering me in the world of politics: all the talk about (from both sides) valuing small business. Don't get me wrong, I believe we need tons of small businesses to keep the economy going. I just get the impression that politicians are trying to sell small business as the answer for getting Americans back to work.
Every small business job I've ever held only paid minimum wage and had zero chance at any benefits. This might help put money in our pockets, but it's a far cry from rebuilding the middle class. My personal opinion is that this strategy would only serve to increase the number of people working in the lowest paying professions instead of empowering more people to achieve more.

Where is our Joy?

2011-05-31T10:13:00.006-04:00

I don't like to stereotype, and I don't want anything in the following post to sound racist toward any group including the group I would easily be lumped into…

For Memorial Day, we traveled to Port Huron. We found a city park with a large playground for the kids, picnic areas, plenty of shade, and a large beach. I enjoy our Great Lakes. Lake Huron is only an hour’s drive away. Something about the water, the sand, and the soft grass feeds my soul.

The park showcased the melting pot that our country embodies. It was fun to family watch. This is the soil where my form of patriotism grows, in our open arms, in our diversity, and in our families.

A large latino family claimed a large, sunny chunk of the park to play soccer. They were having so much fun. They kept shouting, "Goal!"

I worried a bit about my kids wanting to join in. Then I realized that I might want to join in.

A large arabic family played very interesting music. The young women all joined hands and danced for a short time. My son, Gage thought that was cool. I couldn't help but think about how that embodied freedom and comfort - to dance in public like that in a setting that isn't known for dancing.

As a large Indian family walked in, I noticed that the men were pushing the baby strollers. At first I thought there were no women in the group. They trailed behind a few minutes later. As the day went on, it was obvious that the men were the main caretakers for the kids.

There were other large family groups around us that weren't just speaking English. I couldn't identify them all, but they had one thing in common, they were large families. There were many interracial families too.

In contrast, most of the caucasian-only families were small (4 to 5), a mother, a father, and 2.5 kids. Most of the non-caucasian families numbered 10 to 15+ with people from multiple generations. I'm guessing that they contained great grandchildren all the way through great grandparents.

It had me wondering… and maybe it’s just my family, but why don’t we get together in such large, extended family groups anymore? We did when we were kids.

Maybe I’m generalizing too much. It was only one day at one park, and it was a holiday. But I still wonder, why don’t we value the same things? I mean, here were multiple cultures all with obvious, strong family ties, except for one.

And where is our joy? We don’t dance in the park. We don’t stake out large sections of a park to play games together. We rarely see one another anymore. If it happens once a year, we’re satisfied. Or are we?

Humbling Lessons

2011-05-16T09:41:00.002-04:00

It was probably about four or five years ago that I decided I needed to be more actively helping people. That's when I started organizing street clean ups, diaper drives, donating to shelters. I wasn't doing this to impress God. I was doing it to know God better. If you want to see God, you find him in other people (my opinion).

For about a month, I'd get up and pray, "Lord, give me someone to help today." I'd go through my day, and people would literally show up at my desk asking for help. I WOULD TOTALLY MISS IT! They would actually use the word 'help,' and I would let it go over my head. I'd kick myself later on as the irony set in. People would say they needed help with work or with some home repair I was actually good at. Because I was looking for something grand, I'd overlook these little opportunities to be a good friend. It only made me more determined. I was going to help someone.

One morning, I prayed the prayer. I was alert all day. Nothing. It was freezing cold outside and sleeting as I left work.

I worked in downtown Flint at the time. It's a classic "downtown" with a main strip of older buildings, a few really tall ones. There are two busy times for Flint, the 8 a.m. influx and the 5 p.m. mass exodus. Traffic leaving the area is thick and cranky. 95% of people leave that area at 5 p.m. It's a ghost town after that. Most businesses, including restuarants and shops lock up shop at this time.

I was nearly to the freeway and freedom for the day. I passed a car that was stalled in the middle of the afternoon mess. It took me a few seconds, but I realized, here was a person in need. I turned around. Parked. Ran out into the traffic to see if I could help push.

It ended up being a young couple around 18 years old. The male was pushing. The female was steering. They had run out of gas.

At first the kid seemed surprised that I'd help. We had about a block to go before the gas station. Did I mention it was sleeting? Cars were honking at us. We were in the way of wall-to-wall traffic.

He started apologizing. He started degrading his girlfriend. It was all her fault. They had stopped at a friend's house for a quick exchange of some sort. They knew they were low on gas. He had told her to turn the car off and stay put. It took longer than expected, and when he came out, she had been circling the neighborhood. He started referring to her as "the dumb bitch." He continued to elaborate on his opinion of her and women in general. It wasn't pretty.

I tried to remind him that, if they were together, he must have some feelings for her. She must have some value. We all make mistakes. I shared that I have ran out of gas in the past.

He gave me a look like I was the dumbest person on earth.

There was a few minutes of silence after that.

As we pushed the car into the gas station, he turned away from me acting like I had never even been there. I told him to have a good day. He acknowledged me with a quick sneer, but didn't even say thanks. Apparently I was a fool for helping and a fool for thinking his girlfriend was anyone important.

I went home feeling like crap. On top of that, I got very sick the next day. I even had to miss work.

For weeks I thought about how crappy the experience had been. I had helped someone. It would have taken him much longer to push that car by himself. But it hadn't been a positive experience for either of us.

As time passed, I think I got the lesson. I can want to help people. I can even actually help them, but it doesn't mean they'll appreciate it. Does that mean I quit? I don't think that was the lesson. I think the lesson was to just reign in my expectations. Be realistic. Remember the type of world we live in. A good friend pointed out, perhaps the kid was just embarrassed. Perhaps my words even made him realize that it wasn't cool to bash someone he's supposed to love.

Others have pointed out, maybe I really helped the girl steering.

Or, perhaps it was totally pointless. I have to be willing to accept that because sometimes it might be pointless.

If I'm only helping others to make myself feel good, then my motivations are wrong. If I'm helping just to be a help, it shouldn't matter how I feel afterward or how they respond. I shouldn't be looking for a response.

Violence, Justice, Wrestling…

2011-05-02T10:33:00.004-04:00

In the weeks that followed September 11th, 2001, many words escaped my lips that, even then, felt like they were being spoken by some anti-Brian. The words didn't feel like me. Other people told me as much back then.

I had been married for less than a year. Life was good for me. Planes crashing into buildings, that shook my world view, and I didn't like it. It opened my eyes to things I wanted to ignore. It opened up a reality I wanted to deny. I wasn't as safe as I had once thought. Fear, though certainly no stranger in life back then, seemed to grow legs in those days. I was sad too, but that wasn't as transformative.

Hitting that wall of reality made my tongue wag. I wanted justice. I wanted revenge. I wanted violence. I wanted blood. The words that escaped my tongue felt both wrong and right back then. They only feel wrong now. I feel too much shame to share them with you today.

The death of Osama Bin Laden should be something we all contemplate. This is a case where my faith butts heads with my patriotism. It's hard not to see the death of a violent person as a victory when he's caused you sadness and fear, but it's also hard to forget the lessons I've picked up on since then. Death removes the possibility of redemption as we know it.

Using violence to solve problems is easy, but I believe it costs us part of our souls. It's harder to avoid violence if it costs us our lives. So the question may be, what's more important our lives or our souls? Would we rather be a King Jr. or a Bin Laden?

My heart has changed. I feel now that my words were likely very similar to the words of those I sought to harm. I had become no different than my perceived enemy. They were killers, so I wanted them killed, making me a killer.

Justice is a tricky subject. It may sound cliche to say that only God knows the whole story, but I believe it. Even when someone is clearly committing acts of evil, we never know what every motivation might be. We think we do. Maybe there is no justification for evil, but maybe it's not right for us to judge anyway. Over and over again in scripture, God reminds us to be merciful.

I was a fairly new Christian back in 2011. I hadn't chased God much. There's been a lot of pursuit since then. Today, I can't see God being happy with further bloodshed. I can't imagine Jesus approving the outcome or methods. I don't think he wanted us to pray for enemies as we planned to shoot them in the head. It's hard to make a bullet loving.

I also became a father since 2001. My concept of love has grown in ways I can't put into words. If I love my kids so much that nothing they could ever do would take that love away, how much more does God love us? If God loves me, doesn't he love everyone, including terrorists?

If I find fault in a man because he caused so much death, how can I find comfort in even more death? To me, yesterday's death was just one more ugly event in a cycle of ugly events. I doubt the cycle has ended.

This world, this savage garden, it seems it will always leave me shaking my head in disgust, not just for the actions of others, but for the yearnings of my own heart. I thank God my heart is less stony today. I pray it's even less stony tomorrow.

Answering Machine and Arby's Spirits: Random

2011-04-26T09:31:00.003-04:00

There's one parent that drives by our house to drop his kids off every morning with his radio booming. As I'm waiting for Owen's bus to pull up, I scowl at him. Not only are people trying to sleep at this hour, but his kids and their ears are in the car.
Let the Right One In (Swedish 2008) versus Let Me In (American 2010). Same basic story. Both well done. Both stark and beautiful in their cinematography. Slightly different angles. Which one would I recommend? I have to go with LROI. It leaves more to mystery, and I always like that in a good horror movie. My imagination… well it's always scarier than anything they reveal. Which is scary on other levels.
I'm not sure New Mexico was the best setting for a snowy movie in the American version. I get that they have snowfall in the mountains, but when I think of states with snow, I don't think New Mexico.
Banana peppers are the gateway peppers. I'm now addicted to jalapeños. Where does it end? Habaneros? Eating actual fire?
We visited Heidi's uncle's house for Easter lunch. He has two new kittens. As we left, Gage told us to put his kitties in the car.
That kid cries when we leave church, which I suppose is a good thing, but also embarrassing.
We found a gym that was running a very inexpensive trial. The catch was, you had to participate in their weight loss challenge and weigh in every two weeks. The contest ended last week. I didn't win. They split us into teams based on when we joined. So, we never met our "team mates."
I was using the exercise bike one night when two of the winners walked up. They started talking about the gaps in weight reporting. People didn't weigh in when they were supposed to. The winners started joking that it was because those particular people obviously hadn't lost enough weight and were likely ashamed. I thought to myself, those people probably came to the gym a lot more than they used to. They should probably be proud of that alone. I think the winners have a right to be happy/proud, but so do all of us that are just getting into better shape and health than we were two months ago.
Aren't there enough animals that are endangered that we shouldn't have to worry so much about moving them on and off the list? I mean, if we're not eating them and they're not eating us, can't we just agree that we don't need to kill them?
Some observations on cold calling:
People aren't as rude as I expected. Most of them will even give you about a minute of their time, which is really all I'm asking for.
It does sting when someone does hang up on you. I can see not answering the phone. That's what I do because I find it incredibly rude to just hang up on someone that's being polite themselves.
I usually get a few people laughing each night, in a good way.
They still don't want an appointment with me.
I find it incredibly strange when I stumble on a cluster of homes with the same, strange answering machine voice. This happened last week. I found four houses in a row with the same, very unique, stock voice on their answering machines. Like they all owned the exact same machine and lived next to one another. This was not your usual stock voice, it was slightly British, like a butler.
I noticed a similar thing back when I was a manger at Arby's. We'd have a slow day. There would be nearly an hour between customers. It would be so slow that we'd stare out the windows in the front wondering what was keeping people away. And then… groups of about four cars would pull in together in a line. It was like some spirit had possessed them all at once to put their turning signals on and swing into the lot. That would be followed by another near hour of no one.
Perhaps some spirit of answering machines possessed these neighbors to seek out the strange British answering machines. Maybe there was a very convincing door-to-door salesman with a butlerish British accent.
I hate it when kids answer the phone. It throws me off. You just never know, it could just be an adult with a very child-like voice.

Movies, Insurance, Sweat, and Bee Rocks…

2011-04-11T08:56:00.003-04:00

No offense Summer, but I need me a strong dose of Spring before you make your sweaty debut. I have jackets to wear, and books to read outside. I don't want to have to install air conditioners yet.
Owen is terrified enough of bees, and he's already seeing them everywhere. Okay. They're usually rocks. He has an overactive imagination.
Love and Other Drugs. Ladies, a few questions: So… it's okay for a movie to have gratuitous nudity and sex as long as it's still technically a chick flick? Also… it's okay for the characters to be incredibly shallow as long as there's some romance and someone matures by the end?
Insurance work has been an adventure so far.
Cold calling potential clients was a difficult thing to start.
I've talked to hundreds of answering machines. I should try to come up with something funny to say. Maybe that would get me a few call backs.
Have you ever noticed that people that are very patriotic don't like anthems that aren't the National Anthem? I would think songs of unity, even if they're not specifically American, would still hold some interest.
I'm going to miss Michael Scott on The Office. For me, that's an almost perfect weekly dose of comedy. It's so well done now, I'm hoping they can keep the show going without him.
I saw an article the other day referring to the present musical age as the "Post-Nirvana Era." Do you get the impression that some music writers graduated high school in the early nineties and got stuck in their own musical era? I seem to remember purchasing quite a few albums between 1993-2011 that had no resemblance to grunge or the nineties in any way.
"New Superman movie villain revealed!" … And it's the same villain that appeared in the first two eighties movies … snore … General Zod again? He's basically evil Superman with a beard.
DC Comics movies continue to fail with their antagonists. Okay. The Batman franchise has been pretty good lately. They had a lot to make up for though. Let's not forget the Bat-nipples and Jimmy Carrey as the Riddler. Didn't Prince do the soundtrack for one of those movies too?
If they ever make an Aquaman movie, expect the villains to be a whale and General Zod from the Superman movies.
Watching Taxi Driver for the first time made me feel unstable. Not because I identified with the main character in any way. More of a, I feel more unstable for having witnessed him, kind of way.
The ongoing controversy of hell and what it might be like can shine some light on what people believe about other aspects of faith. Those who seem to be having the greatest difficulty with Rob Bell or NT Wright or even C.S. Lewis also seem to have the opinion that Heaven is somewhere else, not accessible now. They seem to neglect the now aspects and focus on whether or not we can "get in" after death.
I mean no disrespect by pointing this out. If anything, it offers me insight and hopefully understanding into a viewpoint I previously had none.
As much of a mess as Sucker Punch turned out to be, I loved the quote at the end… "Who Honors those we love for the very life we live? Who sends monsters to kill us... and at the same time sings that we'll never die? Who teaches us what's real... and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend? Who chains us... and who holds the key that can set us free? It's you. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight!"
I think they could have fixed the movie pretty easily. I think I get what the director was going for. He just seems to have left a few pieces out. Maybe those pieces will be replaced in the director's cut.
I did really dig the sound track.

One of my favorite moments from Poets, Prophets, and Preachers

2011-03-31T08:49:00.001-04:00

Reconciliation as a Job

2011-03-17T08:52:00.002-04:00

The following is a cathartic exercise (or maybe exorcise is better) of the mind for me. This idea has been intensely in the forefront of my mind this morning, and I need to get it in written form. I have to give it legs or I won't fully function in my normal day to day.

The ideas I'm expressing aren't my own. They've been presented over and over again in books and sermons. I'm just trying to put them in my own words.

My own thoughts might be incomplete by the end of the post, but I need to put them down, here, for now.

There's been a "controversy" lately about what hell might actually be, if it is at all. It seems like a lot of people have faiths that are very static. If you try to move or remove one piece, they act as if the rest falls apart. I think this is understandable, especially if you've grown up from an early age with religion and faith.

As someone that didn't, I try to keep my faith more flexible. There's a core, but the extended pieces aren't all that earth shattering. I like to question and wrestle with things. Even if I've resolved something personally, I like to think that I'm never beyond discussing and possibly questioning it all again.

So the whisperings have involved whether or not there is a literal hell. The suggestion has come up that the traditional view of fire and brimstone might be incorrect.

One of the most common responses in the past few weeks has been to quote John 14:6.

…

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

…

Of course, there is more to the story than this one line. Jesus has just told his apostles that he's leaving, and they want to know how they can get to where he's going. He answers that he's going to be with God the Father. So, basically they're asking, how do we get to Heaven? Some would say that they're asking how they get in on what's coming next.

The assumption, and most common interpretation is that what Jesus says in his answer is that if you don't believe and follow him, you don't go to Heaven. Conversely, you must logically then go to hell(?).

What if that's not what he's saying at all?

What if what he's saying isn't a statement about us, but a statement about himself? Maybe he's saying "You want to get to God, and I'm going to get you there. That's my job!" He doesn't say he's doing this if you believe or do anything first. He's just taking on that role of getting people to God.

Throughout the Bible there are these scriptures about God wanting to reconcile all things to himself. Jesus is always talking about what God the Father has sent him to do. It's widely believed that this reconciliation is one of Jesus' primary responsibilities. If Jesus is a force of reconciliation, you might not need to follow him at all to actually tap into what he's doing.

It's also been suggested that people throughout history live out much of what Jesus taught despite never hearing of him. Perhaps what Jesus is saying in this line of scripture is that, if we're aligned with what he's doing, whether or not we've decided to follow him, we still get in on what's coming next because we're already helping to bring about the same results.

I don't think John 14:6 answers the question of hell. I don't think it even addresses hell at all. It certainly doesn't mention any of the common phrases that would be translated into the word 'hell' in English.

Saturday

2011-03-14T11:24:00.004-04:00

I had a great day with the boys Saturday. Instead of cleaning the house for Sunday’s Poker Game/Diaper Party, I spent a lot of time with them. We played a few games (especialy Superhero Squad Memory) and watched a few cartoons together. They like the 1970’s Super Friends shows.

In the early afternoon, I took them to Halo Burger to play in the play area. We just ordered a few sodas.

It struck me, as the boys played together and with other kids, how lucky I was. Gage, who doesn’t resemble me in very noticeable ways, who could of imagined such a son? I love that about him, he’s not what I would have ever expected. He’s blonde. He runs, stops, does a little dance, and then runs some more. He’s too timid to climb too high up into the playscape. He’ll walk up to complete strangers, adult or child, give them a humble, goofy face to test the waters. He’s just as shy in some ways as Owen, but they’re different about it.

Owen will follow other kids around at a safe distance. If they never acknowledge him, he’s stayed far enough away not to be embarassed. If they eventually let him join in, and they often do, he’s good to go. In so many ways, he’s a younger version of me. I hope he can avoid some of the bumps and bruises along the way.

I was left feeling very lucky to be the father of such boys. It was nice to have that day.

As the boys played, an older woman came in with two grandkids and one of their friends. She almost immediately struck up a conversation with me. We talked about keeping the kids busy.

By that time, our kids were playing together.

She suggested Summer Bible Day Camps. I hadn’t thought of that.

She told me about moving to Michigan to help her son. She seemed generally happy about having so much time with her grandkids, but she also said she was lonely. I wish I had known of something to say. As I left, I thanked her, told her it was nice to meet her. She said she hoped we’d run into one another again, maybe at Bible Camp.

We’ve always found that these play areas are great places for meeting other people. You clearly already have things in common - kids.

The boys and I finished up our day with a quick stop at Walmart. We had a pizza for dinner with a Max and Ruby episode and a quick game of Pac-Man.

Random, March 7th Edition: Charlie Sheen, TV shows, Oatmeal…

2011-03-07T11:33:00.003-05:00

Why would The Great Gatsby movie need to be in 3D? When you over do something, it tends to reach it's life expectancy sooner.
How many seasons of Dancing with the Stars are crammed into one year? I don't know the answer, but it's at least one too many and probably two more than you could pay me to watch.
I often miss the days when I was less concerned with politics and the rest of the world.
Does every generation have a Charlie Sheen? Cringe.
I'd never watch Celebrity Apprentice, but if you could get Mel Gibson and Sheen on there… maybe I'd enjoy the commercials for the show.
I don't watch Saturday Night Live faithfully, but I hope it never goes away. I think it's an important part of our culture.
I do like Undercover Boss to a point. I like when they actually do things for their employees that are lasting. That's not always the case.
I hate that the spam that shows up in my email is often directly related to email subjects I recently sent to friends. Even if I'm being watched by evil, mindless spam robot programs, I'm still being watched. I'm not sure what the male enhancement spams are in response to.
I love my wife. I think I should mention that here sometimes. It's important. Let's see if she reads these.
Facebook, to me, is an opportunity. I've reconnected and stayed connected with many people that I otherwise would have remained disconnected from them. I recently heard a doctor say that people on Facebook need to get a real life. Real life without such an opportunistic tool would have less love, friendship, and communication if I didn't utitlize Facebook.
The suggested heart healthy, daily serving size of oatmeal is larger than my stomach appreciates.
The new McDonald's oatmeal is controversial right now because of its high sugar content. It also has oatmeal and highly preservative filled fruit in it. Let's be honest. I was going to eat the sugar anyway. Isn't it better that the sugar is at least accompanied by something half way nutritious?
To be more honest, McDonald's oatmeal isn't very tasty. Raisins ruin everything.
Any comic junkie can tell you, DC comics panders to a younger crowd. They have separate lines of comics for adults only, but they've taken the stance that their books generally have to also appeal to kids even though the market is primarily adult. This makes their newer series of animated, straight to DVD movies perplexing. I can't let my kids watch them. They use mild but strong language, and the violence isn't as shadowy as you're likely to find in a comic book. Marvel has always done just the opposite.

A Million Miles…

2011-03-07T11:28:00.001-05:00

You can buy Don's book here, at Amazon.

A Great Book Now in Paperback

2011-03-07T11:25:00.000-05:00

What story are you telling? from Rhetorik Creative on Vimeo.

Getting Burned by a Sermon

2011-02-24T10:45:00.004-05:00

Peter Rollins has this way of building you up to something emotionally. When he gives a talk, he leads you down a path, and you think you know where it's going. Part way through, you're often angry or uncomfortable with what he's saying. Then, at the end, you often realize you had no idea where you were headed at all. It all makes sense in hind-sight and the emotional reaction you had was all part of the experience.

He gave a talk last week at Mars Hill in Eastern Michigan. It's a perfect example of his style. I urge you to check it out. You can download an mp3 or subscribe to the podcasts of Mars Hill.

http://marshill.org/teaching/2011/02/20/pyro-theology/

You should know that he's from Belfast, Northern Ireland. When it sounds like he says "zed," he means Z. He's also a funny guy. As inflammatory as he can seem on the surface, I have yet to disagree with him, and I always enjoy the wild ride of emotion.

Some Thoughts on Parenting: Random

2011-02-22T12:11:00.003-05:00

Cartoon characters often teach bad lessons right along side the good lessons. Curious George should be a convicted felon ten times over. Animated ducks and frogs often steal, break into, and destroy other people's property, people that are rarely revealed. Is it any wonder empathy is a lost concept in our society?
Kids like Spaghetti-O's. I think I would like them if they didn't smell that way when you first open a can. It's not that they taste bad. It's just, there's something strange in that sauce, the way it smells when it's cold. Maybe I watched Food Inc. a few too many times.
Kids don't care about character development. Don't believe me? Rent one of the movies you loved a child. Not an Oscar winner, but one of the more ridiculous ones. See how well its held up for you. There's nothing worse than having your three year old fall in love with a plot-less, poorly animated, two-hour long, straight to video mess. My parents remember these as the Benji movies.
Coloring books are just as expensive as toys these days. When I was a kid, my parents always tried to appease me with coloring books. They were cheap. Now they rival the price of action figures from $6-7.
Parenting groups used to complain that cartoons and toy lines were too closely integrated. Now, the cartoons themselves are about games and toys. It's like they've broken the 4th wall, and no one cares. Yu-Gi-Oh! is a cartoon based on a card game where they actually use the game (playing it) as the plot of the show.
I know this is cliche, but when you become a parent, sleep takes on limitations. For the most part, my kids sleep from around 9 p.m. to 7 or 8 a.m. I'm not complaining about that, but as a parent you give up the right to a complete night's sleep. On ANY night, I can be woken at any hour to address illnesses, bathroom needs, and/or nightmares. It's often the night you least suspect.
Do I need to mention what this can do to your sex life? Interruptions?
I live by the four hour sleep rule: If I get four hours of mostly uninterrupted sleep, I'm good.
All kids are brats. Let me clarify. All kids are innocent brats. They don't know what they're doing. They don't know what consequences are, especially in social situations. At some point they learn to be purposeful brats or to monitor their own behavior. I think that's the distinction some non-parents miss. Not all kids are purposeful in their brat-i-tude. Most learn to act correctly after making mistakes and being shown the consequences.
Kids are crazy eaters. One day they love cauliflower, the next it's like Kryptonite. Who can keep track of these crazy changes?
My kids don't like ketchup. Not even a little. My kid brother used to eat it with a spoon as a main course. I don't know what to do with that. I guess I used to hate cheese.
There are some positive sides to the strange eating habits of kids: I can cook hot dogs, grilled cheese, or make peanut butter sandwiches for any meal, and they're satisfied. I can add canned corn to any meal, and they'll at least eat something. They've actually fallen for the line, "Broccoli is like eating mini-trees."
Also, pop is like the holy grail to them. I can tell them anything is pop, and it'll be gone in under thirty seconds. The title of candy has similar powers, but they've gotten wise when we try to label medicine as candy.
To the parents that hate kids' meals that come with toys because they entice our children into eating unhealthy meals: Sometimes I need to have a night where I don't have to cook, a night where I know they're going to eat the entire meal even if it's not the best for them. Sometimes those little toys are so cool, we don't have to put up with inquiries about real toys for months. Sometimes it's very convenient that my kids eat a burger and then play for an hour on a conveniently located playscape in the same restaurant. Especially in the Winter, that might be more exercise than we can accommodate otherwise. I'm just saying, everything in moderation is still within my job description, and I think I've got it under control.

Embracing

2011-01-26T00:22:00.003-05:00

At small group tonight, we covered part of Matthew 16. Jesus talks about embracing the suffering in life and dying to ourselves, becoming more selfless, less self centered.

Why embrace suffering? I think one of the main points is learning empathy for your fellow human beings. Nothing unites us like suffering.

On my way home I tuned into NPR. They were talking to an elderly woman. She is trying to survive on Social Security, Medicare, and Food Stamps. Her housing costs are higher than her Social Security earnings. The only food she has comes from her monthly food stamp allotment and what she can gather from a local food pantry. She’s behind on her rent. Medicare doesn’t cover copays, and neither can she.

She stated that purchasing a bar of soap would be a luxury most months. That hit home. We’ve been donating things like soap for almost a year now to local shelters. I always feel like it’s not enough, or that we’re flooding them with silly soap, but maybe not.

The interviewer went on to ask her about the current state of our country. You see, her parents had survived the Great Depression, and she remembers living through World War II, when times were likely tougher. She said, back then, people pulled together as communities. Those who had more, shared. It wasn’t perfect, but she’s not seeing that kind of thing now, not on such a wide scale, not with such selflessness.

Prodded further she shared that she believed we’ve undergone too wide of a disconnect between the ‘haves’ and ‘have nots’. She said we’re too afraid of one another. Neighbors don’t even check in on neighbors. Fear of so many things, terrorism, violence, money scams, holds us back from helping one another.

I couldn’t help but think, this was exactly what Jesus was talking about. We fear the suffering. As a friend of mine would say, we insulate ourselves, comfort our own lives.

Because we have not suffered along side the have-nots, we have a disconnect. We lose any empathy. We don’t want to see other people’s problems because we seem to think that trouble might be contagious.

I don’t think Jesus was necessarily saying that those that have plenty should give it all up so they can understand the poor. I think he was saying that, when trouble hits, learn from it. When it hits other people, come along side them, not just to help, but to learn and experience it. Learn to have that empathy so you’re not afraid but empowered to give when and what you can. I think empathy kills off some of that fear too. In its absense, love and community can grow. It would be nice to live in a world where a 50¢ bar of soap isn’t a luxury.

Randomness: Freedoms, Insecurities incited by my wife, Olsen family…

2011-01-24T11:33:00.004-05:00

The Olsen twins have siblings? And someone allows them to be stars too? Do they need more money?
Did you know they make all kinds of different milk? If you don't want regular old, from a cow, dairy milk, you can buy almond milk, soy milk, coconut milk that tastes like dairy milk, and non-dairy, lactose free, who knows what's really inside milk too. I haven't tried the last one, but the rest taste just fine as long as you get them sweetened in some way. Plain is… plain.
My kids love it when my wife and I play video games. Super Mario is especially fun for them to watch. We do let them try to play, but they don't like that as much.
Let me state this, I'm not a gun person. That doesn't mean that I think everyone should give up their guns or that it should be near impossible for normal people to own them. I totally understand hunting rifles. The personal protection stuff… well, you probably don't want me to get into that.
Having said all this, I just don't understand why, when something public and violent happens involving guns, it's immediately inappropriate for people to start asking questions about gun regulations. As long as normal, non-criminal, sane people can still buy guns, why can't we talk about making it harder for crazy, felony convicted people to get guns?
I heard one interview with a gun dealer. He had been coaching people on how to fill out the ownership application. He didn't see how that was a problem, circumventing the safety procedures. I lose sleep over poor grocery store etiquette. This guy doesn't lose sleep over possibly selling fire arms to people that shouldn't have them?
I guess I feel similarly about violent rhetoric. I believe in free speech. I hate when people start talking about banning violent video games, but I also feel like, do you really want that nagging at you for the rest of your life? Maybe something you said set someone off? The wrong person was listening? Wouldn't it be easier to just not say these things so we don't even have to debate their effect?
I believe in a Judgement of sorts that will come from God someday. I imagine that there will be tons of people there that we didn't even realize we'd wronged waiting to testify in some way. I imagine that many of these people never even crossed physical paths with us. Our actions have arms of their own don't they?
I think it's sad that in 2011 the President's wife has to tell us to teach our kids to be more tolerant people.
I love that current country musicians are writing songs about Johnny and June.
Some things my wife makes me insecure about:
I'm often worried that something is hanging from my nose even when it isn't. It likely has something to do with the increased level of nose hair I'm experiencing and it's supernatural re-growth speed. Oh, and my wife always tells me up front when she sees anything out of place in my nose. I actually appreciate that. It just makes me paranoid.
On many, many occasions, I've returned home from some social event to have my wife ask whether or not I knew that I hadn't used enough deodorant or worn a shirt that clearly was too odorous to leave the house. She does, however, never let me leave the house in clothes that don't match. She catches that prior to my departure. We have to work on the odor thing. I DO SHOWER EVERY DAY.
I'm always afraid that my clothes look too "eighties." I think she really means nineties.

Mocking He-man

2011-01-08T08:59:00.003-05:00

This is the coolest thing I've seen in a long time.

Critics did call the original He-man cartoon little more than an animated toy commercial, but the critics very obviously never compared the show to the toys produced. Because Filmation cut costs by reusing animation cells, many characters were rarely if ever seen in the cartoon. Some characters looked completely different in animated form because the characters were added prior to the toys being released. The accessories that appeared bore even less resemblance to the actual toys.

The show was actually full of heroes and villains that never saw plastic counterparts. You were more likely to see non-toy characters.

The show was also sugary sweet in a lot of ways. Characters weren't allowed to interact violently or cause injury to one another. Even as a kid I picked up on this. Every episode also had a moral which sometimes really hindered an otherwise interesting story line. In the sappier episodes, there would be singing. As barbaric and heavily armed as the toy line was, that clearly didn't carry over into the cartoon.

Random Post: He-man, Pat Robertson, and that annoying Toyota Highlander Kid

2011-01-06T10:07:00.006-05:00

That Toyota Highlander kid, the one that mocks other kids for riding in "lesser" vehicles, I don't like him. I'm not sure how this is a good marketing strategy.
One of the coolest things I received for Christmas was a classic, 1970's styled pair of Star Wars pajama pants. They rock.
On a related note: The Iron Man PJ pants someone gave me are like butter. 'Nuff said.
Bronner's is a Christmas decorations specialty store in our area. Do they have these in other states? We have two in our general area. Anyway, a group of younger people decided to vandalize the place this Christmas causing an estimated $40,000 worth of damage. Not a smart or kind act.
One of the owners was quoted on the local news the following day. He said that anyone who would attack the spirit of Christmas during this time should be properly punished. I have to admit, in my opinion, in the spirit of Christmas, the owner should forgive the people that did this. In the true spirit of things, he should wash his hands of it. If local law enforcement must punish them, then they must, but one of the ultimate meanings of Christmas, in the true spirit of Christ's birth, undeserved forgiveness seems like the appropriate response.
My son seems to think we own stock in the Winter Glove industry. I think we're hovering around the ten pair of misplaced gloves mark. You think we'd get smart and only buy one color so we could match up the mis-mates.
I had an intensely proud moment one day, late last month. In the quiet of the day my youngest son, who is only 3, grabbed a small toy sword that was only about an inch long. He held it high over his head and said, "By uh hour of AySkull! I ave uh Owpurrr!!!" Over the next few days there were many fights in our house over who, in fact, was going to be He-man when both boys were playing together.
I'm turning my kids into dorks.
Pat Robertson endorses the legalization of marijuana? A lot of my facebook friends started posting things like, "Hey! Even the Christians are getting behind this issue!" Let me stop you right there, m'kay? As a Christian spokesperson, Mr. Robertson has kind of worn out any semblance of sanity. That was kind of out the door years ago. So, if you want him for your spokesperson, I wouldn't recommend it, but you can have him. I'm pretty sure he's gotten into a bad batch or two over the years. That might actually explain quite a lot.
Whether or not Christians should support the legalization of pot is a whole other can of worms. I'm just saying, the support of most TV Evangelists isn't something to celebrate.
As I tell people that my dad bought me a snow blower for Christmas, I've been getting congratulated a lot. It's like I won an award or achieved something. I had no idea.

A Thank You for My Wife

2010-12-27T10:09:00.004-05:00

Christmas is much more to me than presents, but I wanted to use this post to thank my wife. Being unemployed limits most non-essential purchases on my part. So Christmas is also the one time of year (other than my birthday) where I might receive some of the things I wasn't able to purchase throughout the year.

My wife did an awesome job this year. I know it's hard for her. She hates getting a list from me. She'd rather come up with original, surprise treasures.

I've always been a collector. Some would correct that statement and say I'm a hoarder.

When I was eight years old, He-man toys hit the scene, followed shortly thereafter by the cartoon series. Both were firmly cemented into my childhood. Nothing makes me as effectively nostalgic as Masters of the Universe.

A few years back, Mattel announced an adult collector's line that is only available online for one day a month offering only one or two items per month. Little did they know, the one day time frame would shrink to around one hour due to demand. Most of these action figures sell out in about 45 minutes, and getting on Mattel's website during that time is a nightmare. Add in my before mentioned unemployment, and any hopes I had of collecting this new line quickly vanished.

Heidi stepped up and bought me two of the lynch pin characters for Christmas this year with He-man and Skeletor.

I also received the Wolfman remake on Blu-ray. As a fan of the original Universal films, I was skeptical when I heard they were remaking this one. I was surprised to find it was appropriately updated with effects, small story adjustments that made total sense, and the acting was spot on. The film stars Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins.

I finally have a Joe Hill novel in my possession. Hill is a pen name. He didn't want his famous father's name to drive his career. I'm not so sure you can escape a name like Stephen King however, especially in the horror novel business.

I also have Stuff Christians Like, a funny look at stereotypical Christian behaviors.

Our parents and siblings went a bit overboard this year too. The best part about the special day was getting to spend time with everyone. No one had to work. We didn't rush from house to house. There was warmth and familiarity.

Horror Fans and the Holidays

2010-12-20T13:21:00.004-05:00

There are tons of Holiday themed horror flicks out there, but few are actually worth watching. None work on both levels, though some of the holiday movies being produced today could easily qualify as horrifying (Santa Paws anyone?).

If the monster in a horror movie is a snowman, Jack Frost, or Santa Claus, prepare yourself for the silliest wastes of time you've ever encountered. Some folks are into that type of thing, movies that are fun to watch for their unintended laugh factor. The movie where Michael Keaton plays a deceased father that turns into a snowman enabling him to learn the value of his surviving son is scary in description alone.

If I had to recommend a few movies, I'd have to push the following:

1972's Tales from the Crypt features a young Joan Collins in its first segment. She plays a wife and mother who gets away with the perfect crime… in a way. This might make you think twice about teaching your kids about Santa Claus or teaching them how to open doors and windows.

The original Black Christmas from 1974 is a perfect horror movie. Pre-dating the slasher onslaught of the eighties, the film avoids most of Hollywood's trappings and delivers a film that's not afraid to leave a bit of mystery in its mayhem. It's also a great 'who done it.' More holiday chill than cheer and full of seventies Christmas decorations and fashions. Avoid the 2006 remake at all costs. They attempt to take all of the mystery away in a very, very lame way.

Let the Right One In isn't exactly a holiday themed film. I caught it in the summer of 2009 at my local Art Institute. The beautiful Winter cinematography plunges you into the film's stark setting perfectly. If you haven't caught this one yet, wait for the rumored upcoming DVD re-release with the original subtitles. They add a little nuance that might be lacking from the current DVD. Note the photo of the fire angel - ouch.

Long Overdue Random Post

2010-12-06T09:50:00.004-05:00

I know. It's been a while. I've been studying.
When Halloween drops, the holidays just seem to arrive faster and faster every year.
What's going on with my eyebrows? I'm not even fully adjusted to all the hair growing where it shouldn't. Now, the hair that is supposed to be there is getting unruly.
Victoria's Secret sells sweaters? Do they have a lot of holes in them? Strategic holes?
Owen said to me one day that he wanted to be in the other morning Kindergarden/Early Fives class because there's a girl in that class that he likes. He doesn't know her name, but she has brown hair.
On another day, he told me that he would be growing up soon, and then there would be two papas in our household. And when Gage gets older, there'll be three. I explained that he would likely get married and have children before we would consider him a "papa."
"Well, who would I marry?," was his response. I explained he would likely 'like' a girl at some point. He said that he already likes a girl, but he also likes some boys but not in the same way. He then supposed he'd marry Kendal, a girl in his class.
I think Toys 'R' Us should be the first store that allows you to checkout via a microchip in the back of your head. For a store filled with such fun things, their checkout lines always seem to dial up my aggravation level.
We were in Genesee Valley Mall yesterday (the biggest, most popular mall in our immediate area). It wasn't very busy. There are a lot of empty stores there, and of the few that remain, fewer are very popular. Santa Claus was the biggest draw.
I started thinking about twenty years ago. I was sixteen. Back then, it was a rare thing to visit the mall. We lived in Lapeer, and we might make it out to Genesee Valley once a year during the back-to-school season. Flint and Genesee County were pretty foreign to me, but my parents entrusted me with the car. I filled it with friends and a few cousins from out of town. I remember the mall being crazy. People were shoulder to shoulder in the hallways. The stores were full of things you couldn't find anywhere else.
The mall used to be an event. Now, it's just sad.
Trick or Treating on the 30th because it's a Saturday… lame.
Chuck E. Cheese has really went down hill. I know they had an increase in violence a few years back when they decided to serve alcohol (by the way, WT?). They replaced/updated their animatronics with versions that look like they came from the sixties, which doesn't really make any sense. They're less cartoony than the old ones.
Why don't fast food restaurants have recycling bins?
I decided I wanted to be an artist in the first grade, Owen decided in Early Fives (with no input from me).
"We're here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us." Charles Bukowski
Gage calls Santa Claus, "Ho-Ho-Ho."
Sometimes it's just Gage's timing that amazes us when it comes to his ever increasing vocabulary. While taking a vision test last week, he seems to get bored and simply answers, "I don't know." We've never heard him say the phrase prior. "No way" has also come up.
I heard an interesting perspective on the parcel bombs that someone in Yemen tried to send our way. If the bombs had detonated, they'd likely kill 8-10 people. The entire country would have been in an uproar (which I'm not saying is in any way wrong), but on the other hand, we seem to lack a certain amount of outrage at the estimated 1500 homicides that occur in our country every year.
There may be photos of me with cheerleaders somewhere out there. It really wasn't my intention.

Holidays: Missing/Changing the Point

2010-11-24T09:08:00.005-05:00

It bothers me that we don't seem to truly celebrate holidays anymore as a country. A National Holiday used to mean that the overwhelming majority of citizens didn't have to go into work on that day. Maybe the majority still doesn't, but every year more and more businesses find (financial) reasons to stay open on holidays. This means more and more people, fellow citizens, have to leave their celebrations, families, days of rest to go into work.

I'll admit my sins up front. My family used to have a tradition of going to the movie theater on Thanksgiving evening. I always felt bad for the workers there, but it never stopped me from going. I think we're past the point where one or two people protesting would make much difference, but I still refuse to join in these days.

Best Buy announced this year that they would be available for customer technical support on Christmas Day. Christmas Day, until this year apparently, had been the untouchable day. Surely no one would disgrace this grand day by making employees work.

I remember how unheard of it was just a few short years ago for major businesses to be open on Thanksgiving. I remember holidays where we'd double check out gas tanks the day before because we knew finding an open gas station might be a problem the next day.

You wanna talk about slipper slopes? It's now widely accepted that you can go to special sales on Thanksgiving, and usually the sales start right around dinner time. Not only are employees working, but they're working during the prime time of the holiday - missing the entire point if you will. I guess they can have Thanksgiving breakfast with their kids.

I just don't see this ending well, especially for those of us without high ranking jobs. I wouldn't be surprised to find the majority of us working through portions of holidays in the near future.

No rest. No special days for family. No true celebration or appreciation for the things we once valued. The point of holidays seems to have changed. Consume. Produce. Work. Support the whole.

Perhaps we should change our name to Egypt and start electing Pharaohs.

Customer Service, or Lack Thereof…

2010-11-08T09:53:00.005-05:00

Let me start by saying, I don't believe the customer is always right, but the customer is always left with either a positive or negative encounter. I studied Marketing while in college, and I have years of customers service in multiple industries.

I used to work for a newspaper company that held, what I thought were, high customer service standards. I don't know what their policy is now, but if a customer called with almost any problem with that day's edition, one of our employees would soon be in a car driving a replacement newspaper to the customer. That might seem drastic to some. One customer being happy was that important, even in cases where we knew the problem wasn't our fault. All complaints were addressed within 24 hours on regular business days.

Having worked in that industry, I also know that most big name inserts (coupons, Kmart, grocery store chains, etc…) are printed by the millions in most cases. Most newspapers are supplied with thousands of extras just in case there are mistakes made in any way. In the weeks following insert dates, if those extras aren't used, they're often, not always, shipped back to the suppliers for their use. Also, when non-subscription copies of the paper don't sell on their edition date, those copies are returned to the newspaper headquarters. Again, we're talking hundreds, if not thousands, of copies with inserts intact readily available for at least a week after the edition date.

I contacted three companies last week because I didn't receive all of my coupon inserts in Sunday's Detroit Free Press. I had read that most other customers in this area did get these inserts in the papers they purchased. I buy three copies every week specifically for the coupons, so the main value I was seeking from this publication was lost. I shared all of that information in all of my correspondence. I contacted The Free Press, Proctor and Gamble, and Red Plum on Monday. Because it was a regular business day, I honestly expected to hear back from all of them within a few hours.

That evening I received an email from the DFP. They were somewhat confused about my complaint about missing inserts, but they still wanted more of my personal information so they could try to set things right. I've heard that they've actually sent out missing inserts in the mail when this happens. Having contacted them with the same problem in the past, I have yet to have this happen for me. But, I was hopeful.

The next morning they sent me a response indicating that they were sorry that I was not satisfied, but they felt it wasn't their responsibility to make sure all delivery zones received all inserts. They couldn't tell me specifically, but they felt that their customers (Red Plum and P&G) had decided not to deliver those inserts to the entire Flint area. If they had made a definitive statement telling me that it was totally out of their hands, I think I would have felt better about their response.

I was disappointed. Having worked in the newspaper business, I know that in all likelihood they had access to copies of these inserts. If they didn't have left over stock, they would have received their overstocks back from retailers on Monday (the papers that didn't sell in stores). They could have at least offered to sell me those, if not outright sent them to me just to keep my customer satisfaction high. At least they had gotten back to me.

I was surprised on Friday to receive a response from P&G. They too were sorry I didn't get everything I was expecting. They didn't comment on whether or not they were responsible for not distributing the inserts to the entire Flint area. They had decided to send me one of the three missing copies of their insert, but they made it clear this was a one time thing. In the future, I'd be out of luck. Again, they had at least gotten back to me.

At this time, I still haven't been contacted by Red Plum's "customer service" department.

To be honest, I'm not sure which of these outcomes is more negative. I just keep thinking, they could have made this right with me very easily. They could have even suggested that I pay postage, and I would have been thrilled. Instead, I have one company that tells me I'm out of luck, another that tells me they're inconveniencing themselves to send me a third of what I paid for, and another that doesn't contact me at all. I find all of these responses perplexing. None of these outcomes is positive, and here I am, sharing my negative experiences with the world.

Joan Jett, Hank III, Glasses, Randomness

2010-10-26T09:54:00.005-04:00

The political ads are killing me. I have to change the channel. They just seem much more extreme this year, like they're not holding back the crazier ideas.
Our church is covering a book entitled, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. We're not typically a church-wide, book-covering type of place, but right now our sermons and small groups are all centered around these ideas.
One of the major themes involves learning to identify that part of you that usually has you concerned with what other people think. It's part of what the author calls a "false self." It's that part of you that gets anxious before interacting with certain people, wanting to have all the right answers and behaviors in order to impress. It's that part of you that doesn't really allow you to just relax and be yourself. I'm simplifying of course, but ever since getting into this idea, I've had that Joan Jett lyric playing in my head. "I don't give a damn 'bout my repu-ta-tion!" I can't seem to shake it. I really don't want to have to dig out Joan Jett CDs.
She still puts on a great show however. Her new stuff isn't half bad.
No. I'm not perpetually stuck in the 80's. I just went through a short phase a few years ago.
Okay. I love my Cars greatest hits CD too and Jim Croce and The Cure…
It is fun to attend Jett's shows and listen to the drunk, homophobic, old guys complain because they believe she's gay, suggesting she take a ride on their love train to "turn her around," and in the next breath, praise her for rockin' out. What would a concert be without drunk old guys?
I recently went to see Hank III (Hank the third - Hank Williams Senior's grandson, Hank Williams Junior's son). My cousin, Jasen treated me to a ticket. Hank III has a diverse collection of albums. He started with an old country sound mixed with more modern, gritty themes, which I'm fond of. He has some albums that would more closely resemble modern hillbilly country - think rude and somewhat stereotypical. He also does country infused heavy metal.
It was strange to see a mosh pit moving to the sound of fiddles. It was strange, but still appropriate.
The crowd was just as diverse. Some people hated the older sounding stuff. They jeered at the instrumentals. I'm not really a fan of his metal sets, and some of the hillbilly stuff is just a bit too rude for me lately. It was great to see him live. He looks and sounds a lot like his grandfather.
As an old concert veteran, I can tell you, when you see the guy wearing a confederate flag as a cape: That's the guy to avoid. Having witnessed it over and over again, the guy wearing a flag as a cape is most likely to continue his need for bold statements by punching innocent standersby in the face for little or no reason.
The Machine Shop is a gem in this area.
It's been a bad year for Halloween horror movies. I usually get myself into the spooky spirit by watching my old favorites. I decided instead to catch up on a few I'd missed. That's been a mistake. Apparently I missed them for good reason.
I highly recommend the following modern gems: Splinter, Trick 'R Treat, The Mist, and The Crazies remake. Old favorites include: the original Halloween, Return of the Living Dead, Martin, Night of the Living Dead, and The Monster Squad.
Did I mention that the political ads have been scary? One guy very openly stated that he wanted to get rid of the income tax. Sounds fine on the surface. Hey, less taxes, but isn't the income tax one of the few remaining mechanisms in place to somewhat level the field between rich and poor? If you earn more, you therefore contribute more toward running the country. Those who earn less keep more to survive on.
He wants to replace income tax with a much higher tax on goods and services. They say this will initially cause most products to be priced so high that lower income families will struggle intensely, but "eventually the market will adjust itself" so $8 for a gallon of milk will just be common place.
Owen's vocabulary is increasing by leaps and bounds. I think it's the glasses. He's also spelling words regularly.
His glasses have had me down for a while. There, on his face, is a metaphorical reminder of all the bullying and torment I went through starting at his age. I'm just praying he escapes it, but more and more, he reminds me of myself.
I chaperoned his first field trip a few weeks back. I was responsible for one other child. She just happened to be the girl he had mentioned having a little crush on. He was so shy. I had to coax him into talking to me that day. He seemed to be a bit of a loaner around the other kids too. I've got to think of a way to get him out of these habits.
Gage has glasses too, but he doesn't need to wear his as often.
Everyone is having babies again. I hope my wife doesn't get any ideas.

Hiking, 10th Anniversary, Autumn

2010-10-13T16:05:00.010-04:00

My wife and I have been married for 10 years as of last Thursday.
We spent the afternoon cleaning our church together. It seemed very appropriate actually. We had dinner at a decent restaurant afterward to celebrate.
Last year on our anniversary, we discovered that we enjoy hiking by taking a short vacation in Oscoda. Well, I love hiking. I think Heidi enjoys it to a lesser extent. We hiked a very cool trail there. We planned a short getaway again this year. How often do you get to celebrate an entire decade of marriage?
No matter how much I look forward to time spent away from the kids, I miss them instantly whenever the realization hits me that there is no chance of seeing them in the next 12 to 24 hours. I love my kids, but sometimes I need down time. But I always, always, always miss them early on. It's like instant home sickness.
Last year we had no trouble finding overnight accommodations, and Oscoda had a music festival going on. This year things were different. The cottages we hoped to stay in were only half open, and they were booked solid (despite what their website reported). Many of the other local resorts were closed for the season or because they were currently for sale.
We drove on.
Everywhere we went, it was like the trees were on fire with color. Last year we saw browns and sickly yellows. This year we were treated to vibrant reds, yellows, and oranges.
Harrisville, just to the north, is a picturesque small town, especially in the fall. There are no big chain restaurants or stores. As you travel through the main section of town, every street has a sidewalk, and the view usually includes Lake Huron, a marina of some sort, and tons of yellow fall leaves.
Two years in a row now, we've tried to stay at a bed and breakfast there. With the 'open' sign clearly displayed and the doors unlocked, we have yet to find the owner home. Another tenant told us that we could make arrangements to stay if we called the owner on her cellphone. She was camping.
We ended up in Alpena.
The next morning we drove to a nearby State park to try their hiking trail. The guidebook read, "As you come to the cemetery, take the unmarked road directly afterward." A lot of people wouldn't really recognize the path we were driving on as an actual road. The road cut into a thickly wooded area. It was pretty with the fall colors, but it was also dark and twisty. Everywhere you looked there was barbed wire, hunting lodge signs, private property declarations, and what looked like houses that should have been abandoned but weren't. The "road" was mostly sand. We drive a small Ford hatch back.
I feared banjo music.
When we reached the entrance to the State park, their road was ten times bigger and better.
We didn't get to hike, though the area looked perfect. Michigan changed their laws last year. You can no longer deposit money on an unmanned site. You have to have a state pass displayed on your car before entering the park. Not having one, we moved on to the next State park (back south in Harrisville), which had a ranger on duty.
We hiked a bit there, but the trail was partially paved.
I enjoy trails that are marked, visible, but the idea of the trail being paved defeats the purpose for me. It's offensive. I want to barely be able to see sunlight through the thick trees. I want to glimpse areas that human feet have not touched on a regular basis. I want to fear the wildlife to a certain extent. I sincerely don't want to run into other human beings on the trail that day.
I let Heidi choose the main trail this year. We headed back to Oscoda to check it out. When we arrived at the Lumbermen's Memorial my heart sank. There were tourists everywhere. There were children and little dogs in sweaters.
But then I saw the view. This was a scenic spot that just happened to have a hiking trail attached. I don't think I've ever used this phrase before, and if I did, I didn't mean it, but this view took my breath away. We were at the top of an Au Sable river valley. The fall colors were out in force, and you could see for miles!
I watched as person after person exclaimed in their own way how beautiful the view was. Heidi had chosen wisely.
The park has a walkway that takes you down 272 steps through the woods, down the steep hill. The view along the way and at the bottom was great, but it paled in comparison to the view top side.
We tried their hiking trail. It was sparse, kind of boring. The road was on one side. The river was on the other with less than a mile of wooded area in between. We could hear motor vehicles from time to time. Most of the wildlife was onto this fact, and had vacated.
We stopped at two other scenic spots. One of them had another 300 step decent to some natural springs and water falls. It was beautiful too.
We finished the trip with a quick stop at Tawas Point lighthouse.
We didn't get in a lot of actual hiking, but we did get tons of exercise that day. We saw plenty of beautiful settings.
I'm not an outdoorsman. I don't hunt or fish. I don't even particularly enjoy being outside. I never expected it even when I became curious about the activity, but hiking does something for my soul. Maybe it's just the Oscoda area. I don't know if it's Lake Huron, the waves, the sand, or the woods that we venture into. I love the idea that the wilderness hasn't been tampered with by humans. We haven't ruined it yet. I also like the smell of cedar, moss, and moldering leaves. I hate throwing my jacket in the wash afterward.
We were only away for one night, but we packed the second day of the trip as full as we could. We didn't have any near encounters with wildlife like last year, but a few pheasants scared the crap out of us on one of the trails. I'll take it.
I'm proud of us. We're way more adventurous than I thought we'd be ten years ago. Cemetery roads filled with backwoods gun nuts? Trails that lead into the deep, dark woods? The possibility of bears, wolves, coyotes, and fox? We've got a compass and some mace. I think we're moving forward.
Most disturbing billboard of the week goes to: "Don't forget you breast friend." I know, we need to encourage mammograms, but…
I'm also pretty sure I do have HMB.

Let It Mellow, Randomness

2010-09-27T10:25:00.004-04:00

We made a pit-stop during a road trip a few weeks ago. We stopped at a "green" Meijer to use the restrooms. Everything was set up to conserve resources. Because it was green, I used the green rules: if it's yellow, let it mellow. I did my part. I was not the first.
On a related note, potty training a toddler can be taxing. Even when he's been bluffing all day, you can't chance that this might be the one time he's serious. There's nothing like being in the middle of nowhere and hearing, "Pee please!" from the back seat with emphasis on the please.
Modern weddings can get complicated can't they? We just attended a simple ceremony in an old converted church. The church was set up with two rows of pews. Tradition would say one half is for the bride's family, the other for the groom's. It doesn't really work that way when there have been one or more divorces on either, or both, sides. It can make things awkward on many different levels.
We avoided taking our sons to the actual wedding ceremony. I never want to be the parent that has to stand up during such a sacred event and scurry out with an oblivious kid. That parent was still at this wedding, so we would have been unnecessary anyway.
The boys proved that they're not ready for receptions anyway.
The highlight of the entire wedding for Owen and Gage was tormenting the ants they found outside. Owen wanted to stomp them until I asked him whether he'd enjoy someone stomping him or not. We're still trying to explain empathy, life, and death to him. Gage kept picking the poor things up as if they were toys. He was then perplexed when they permanently stopped crawling around.
My cousin Jeff is an awesome chef. He made all of the food for my aunt's wedding. The garlic broccoli was phenomenal.
Using alcohol as a tool to resolve/reveal family/emotional matters, is like using a chainsaw to cut pancakes. You might achieve your goal, but the pieces left behind are often unrecognizable and inedible.
All of our eye surgeries are over. Gage was surprisingly cooperative until we arrived in the pre-op area of the 600 building. It was as if he'd forgotten the first visit altogether until he saw the hospital gown. It wasn't too bad though. He was very bi-polar after his sedative. One moment he was happily playing the 'name that body part' game, the next he was telling me I was bad.
I'm often the 'bad cop' parent. I've made my peace with it. I remove bandages, administer bad tasting medicine, and generally offer up the bad news more honestly.
I need some kind of badge that identifies me as the type of guy that doesn't hunt, fish, fix cars, or watch sports. It would make for fewer awkward conversations with new acquaintances. It would likely make for fewer conversations altogether, but I'd rather be up front about it.
I do love the woods. I love to hike. Fishing's not all bad, but it's often boring to me. I like the conversation that comes with it more than anything. I can fix a few things on a car. I can diagnose a few things that have popped up in my own vehicles over and over again. I can even change my own oil. I do like to attend sporting events. I just can't watch sports on television for more than about fifteen seconds. I would rather watch women play most sports.
I enjoy talking about books I've read, music, and movies.
I'm trying to resist plugging in a space heater today.
Last week Owen learned not to climb the wrong way up slides, a lesson we've drilled into him for years. When I reminded him of this, he replied, "Yeah, but I did it while the teacher wasn't looking." He apparently learned the lesson when the other kids were caught.
We've observed him, numerous times, tell his playmates that he can't do this or that because he's been taught that the particular action is bad, but when things like the slide lesson come up, I often wonder if I'm just one of the worst parents ever. It just seems like we're rarely getting through to him, and it's even more rare when he seems to fully understand the reasoning behind the lessons.
On a brighter note, I think we're closer to the 99% potty trained zone with Gage.
I took Owen to our local Halloween store yesterday. It's a yearly tradition. He didn't seem to be afraid of much last year, but he really didn't like the animatronics this time around. He asked me if they had a back door we could leave through so he didn't have to return to that area.
He loves all of the spiders, bats, and creepy crawly bug merchandise out right now. He keeps asking if he can have the larger spider decorations for Christmas this year.

…Because I love my Babylon.

2010-09-22T10:27:00.004-04:00

I love this song, and the entire Jacaranda album by Josh Garrels.

I did this lyrical breakdown as a graphic. The song is split into two halves.

The song is called, Zion & Babylon.

Click on the graphic to make it larger.

I live on both sides, but once I saw/felt/tasted/experienced Zion(Heaven) the value of anything on the other side diminishes quickly (and hopefully permanently).

You can listen to the song and the entire album, here.

The BM Fairy, Tea Partying, and The Cat in the Hat. My Random 2¢ this Week

2010-09-17T09:04:00.004-04:00

I'm still adjusting to Owen's school schedule.
He didn't want to go back the second day. He didn't really have a concrete reason other than he seemed to resent the teacher's authority a bit. I had to dig out the old story my mom told me when I was his age. "If you don't go to school, Mama and Papa will get in trouble. The police will come and take us away for being bad parents." That actually did the trick.
I asked him what he learned on his second day of school. His reply, "We learned that it's not okay to spit."
The crossing guard is actually a hinderance to me. I find myself wanting to be polite by crossing the street with her assistance. In reality, it would be quicker and likely safer to just cut straight up the parking lot. It doesn't help that we're one of two families that actually walk our kids to school this year. She seems to know the other family personally. Dang crossing guard.
Heidi commented that she thinks I get the boys up and moving way too early. I reminded her of all the "delays" that often come up when dealing with our children.
I think we're going to have to start getting up even earlier. The Bowel Movement Fairy seems to show up about eight minutes before our latest departure window.
All the other parents make me feel old. They're younger than me, but their kids are older than mine.
Gage loves the buses. He races home shouting, "Come on! Come on!" He stands on the front porch and watches them drive past. It's like his own personal parade every day.
Hurray for PBS. Another hit kids show started this season with The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That. The cat is voiced by Martin Short. It has catchy songs. My kids love it.
"Let's go-go-go-go on an adventure! The Thing-a-muh-jigger is up and away!"
I locked myself out of the house a week ago today. It was a cold morning. I wore a jacket to drop Owen off and absentmindedly stuck my keys into the jacket. As I left the house later, I didn't need the jacket.
On a related note, pay phones are almost non-existant anymore. Gage and I walked a mile before we found one. It was a crazy looking contraption owned and operated by a phone company I've never heard of. It was charging $1 per four minute call. The problem being, it never connected me with anyone, and it still kept my money.
I ended up resorting to calling collect. Luckily my dad's answering machine recorded the computerized voice requesting his payment permission and my name. Not knowing exactly what was going on, he came running… without his extra set of keys.
In hindsight, I should have asked one of my neighbors for help.
On another related note, a cellphone might not be a bad idea. I hate just about everything about them. I already feel enslaved to this computer, email, Facebook…
Luckily, we only pay $100 a year for the shared cellphone we already use. If we double that, we're still paying less in a year than many people pay for just a few months.
I've heard a few stellar sermons lately. Here are a few links:
Dave Flowers, our pastor at Wildwind Community Church did a great sermon called Love. And Hate.
Mars Hill, a church closer to Grand Rapids, always inspires me too. Rob Bell hit one out of the park talking about the value of our older neighbors here. He references Trent Reznor and Johnny Cash too. The great story he tells at the end about last year's Pastor's Conference hit home. Having attended the conference, I had often wondered what happened to the pastor in the story. (I'm being vague on purpose).
Peter Rollins joined him on this one. Rollins is one of my favorite speakers. Some see him as radical. I really don't see it. Maybe it's the accent.
Warning: Political Material Ahead
I noticed two guys on a street corner last Sunday. One of them had a bullhorn. The other had a very homemade looking, impossible to read sign. Later I heard that Sunday was the day many Tea Party members were holding curb-side rallies.
I agree that neither Democrats or Republicans seem to be pulling off any miracles lately. I agree we might need more diversity in our political system, so I'm somewhat encouraged that a third, very slightly different party is at least winning some elections. I'm just really not encouraged by much that they're saying.
I understand the fear that spend, spend, spend will have repercussions, but I want to hear what the alternatives are. I keep hearing that the Tea Party is unhappy with the current administrations ability to create jobs, which implies that they understand there is a lack of available employment opportunities. They then state that they're fed up with people on welfare and unemployment benefits because "those people should just get jobs." I don't understand that disconnect/contradiction.
Yesterday they announced that poverty levels are extremely high and growing in our country. If we're going to stop "spend, spend, spend," spending less, what will be offered to these people? I sincerely fear that there are people out there that would be okay with "starve, starve, starve." A huge deficit is a bad thing for this country. I don't disagree with that, but leaving the economically lowest class to fend for itself would be worse in my opinion. It certainly wouldn't solve anything.

The church is a whore…

2010-09-09T16:26:00.005-04:00

Disclaimer: Let me start off by saying that I know I'm not perfect when it comes to love/hate, grace/bigotry, acceptance/prejudice. I'm sure there are those of you that could point out some of my shortcomings when it comes to loving other people (and I would appreciate that by the way). The following is not meant to suggest that I've "arrived" or that anyone would mistake me for someone that has it all figured out. It's just a subject that's put my blood to boiling this week. Something I needed to write so maybe I can stop thinking about it quite so much this week.

"The church is a whore, but she is my mother." This quote is attributed to St. Augustine. I take it to mean that the church is messed up, but I love her perhaps because she made me what I am today. A friend of mine reminded me of this quote in an unrelated matter recently. It seemed appropriate for today's subject.

A few months ago famous writer Anne Rice announced that she was leaving the Christian church. She would still be following Christ, chasing after Him, spreading His love, but she couldn't deal with all the hate and dysfunction that she felt coming from her local congregations. Hatred and bigotry shouldn't run so rampant among people who believe that God is love. All too often it seems like it's okay to have ill feelings toward groups of people that don't believe the same things we do, or behave in ways we deem appropriate.

I should point out, to those that might not be familiar, that the term church can mean several different things. There are local churches, there are church denominations made up of hundreds and thousands of churches all over the globe, and there is the overall Christian church as a collective encompassing every Christian church all over the world. I believe Rice is severing ties with the overall church organization, or organized religion as some prefer.

I understood her point of view back then. I'm feeling it even more this week. Every channel you tune into is highlighting a single church that is planning on burning Muslim holy books on September 11th. They're also highlighting many other Christian pastors accusing Islam of being evil or a false religion. The overall message these people are pushing is that we're not a country with freedom of religion, and if we are, yours doesn't count.

There's also the churches that protest funerals carrying signs that claim God hates this group or that group. There are the Christian groups that seem to imply that abortion doctors should be put to death without exactly using those words.

Now, these are often the craziest of the crazy. It seems they always get the spotlight. You never see the countless positive things many churches, mosques, and synagogues do highlighted on the evening news. You usually only get the crazy crust, the fringe as some like to call it, spouting hatred and fundamentalism.

As a Christian, a Christ follower, there are these overarching messages that you would assume any Christian or church would adhere to: Love your neighbor. Love your enemy. Love each other. Don't judge. Don't condemn. God is love. God is forgiving. Not only share what you have, but give until you are denying yourself. Lose your life to find life abundant.

How do these messages translate into such negative actions? Burning the Koran? Denying people the right to build a building where they would seek out God? Co-opting funerals with God hates messages?

Even when the bigotry is on a smaller scale, how do you reconcile that with your faith when you encounter it in a church setting? I can testify to the fact that it does happen, even in the best of congregations. On a personal level, it's still very shocking to encounter. It's hard not to turn your back and hightail it out of that particular church, and maybe even that denomination.

The problem is, even in the best of churches, people aren't perfect, no where near. They're not supposed to be. They are supposed to be learning to embrace love and forget hate (I think there's an Ozzy lyric in there somewhere), but that takes time.

It's very hard when you're in a church setting (often outside of the actual church building and not on Sunday) with a group of Christians having just finished up a study of some sort on God's love and grace only to have a discussion start up that involves demeaning other groups of human beings simply because they are of a differing ethnicity or from a different geographical area. You have to wonder if you were the only one paying attention to the material you just covered.

I've often left those situations feeling that it was going to be difficult to return, to that particular setting or to even see those people on Sunday morning. It often bothers me for days. It's hard to take fellow Christians seriously when something like that occurs. Studying God's grace toward sin is difficult when you're expecting the people you're studying with to discuss how worthless certain groups of perceived sinners are shortly afterward.

I know people that would give a stranger the literal shirt off their back, but only if they were certain the stranger wasn't gay or a Muslim. You don't get this picture all at once of course. You see people do amazingly loving things, you marvel at their faith, and later you hear them say shockingly hateful words. It hurts, and it's hard, but you have to learn to extend grace in these situations. You have to just keep praying that their hearts continue to soften toward everyone, even their perceived enemies.

I've been lucky. I've found a good church. A church where I fit well enough. It's diverse, probably more so than most individuals realize on any given week. From one pew to the next you might find drastically different political views, different upbringing, different economic means, and different goals. It's a melting pot that seems to be stronger for its differences. Love and grace are evident. It's not perfect,. Our church suffers through its squabbles, but it has taught me that you have to hang in there. You see, those that hang on to old hatreds, they need those that have given in to love and grace. At the very least, they need you to be uncomfortably silent when off-color, unkind comments are made. It would probably be more appropriate to speak out, and in some cases I have - but it's hard. It's hard not to just jump ship, cut and run.

I understand where Anne Rice is coming from, and I suspect she'll continue to do good in this world, loving people, chasing after God. I can't give up as easily though. I pray there is hope even in the craziest of branches of this thing we call the church. I've seen hope in my branch. Since we're all connected, there has to be hope for the overall body. It's not easy. I was lucky to find a branch I could feel comfortable in. A good branch in my opinion.

A lot of people state that they wish more Muslims would come forward to speak out against the evil actions of a few, to speak out against terrorism. They say the lack of clear voices of opposition are evidence that the religion is itself in favor of such acts. Well, I'm guessing the same could be said of Christian churches that don't speak out against Koran burnings and Mosque protests. Let me be clear, as someone trying very hard to follow Christ, I don't see these things as loving. It's not loving our neighbors, and it's not loving to people we shouldn't see as our enemies in the first place.

I think we need to lock arms with those that are so often portrayed as our enemies and shout as loudly as possible that God is love, and no amount of anger, hate, or fear can change that. But that's just me. I'm just a little twig.

October 2009 Hiking notes

2010-08-27T15:27:00.005-04:00

The following was an entry from my 2009 Journal. My wife and I took a small vacation in October. I was anxious to try hiking. It's almost that time of year again. I thought I'd share the experience of my first hike.:

I had researched the Hoist Lake National Forest for our first hike. It had both long and short trails. We didn’t know what to expect going in, so I wanted something with options.

The trail was very clearly marked, which I was relieved to see. There were a few other cars in the lot, but we didn’t see any other people until the hike was over.

Heidi insisted on taking the lead. We moved really fast at first. The forest seemed very quiet at times. It didn’t take long before a deer snorted at us. The official guide at the parking area stated that the forest was full of deer, coyote, fox, and black bear.

It took us about 45 minutes to travel what the map said was 0.75 miles, which seemed long to me. I had actually gotten the compass out to start trying to pinpoint where we were on the map. I was afriad their were no actual numbered markers like the map indicated. I thought we might be lost. We soon came upon the marker for point #2. Another unseen deer let us know where he was. There was a clearing there, and the trail forked. This was our first opportunity to get lost, and we had to decide how short we wanted to make the hike. We opted for the shorter, 3 mile route.

As we continued, we went over a small ridge hill. As we were going down hill, we both heard twigs start snapping from directly behind us on the other side of the ridge. We could no longer see anything on that side. We froze. There was another twig snap followed by a kind of grunt. My mind was racing. I’ve heard deer snorts many times, and this didn’t remind me of those. All I could think of was black bear. I started talking loud, shouting out, “Hey bear!” From the other side of the trail (still over the ridge and out of sight), I heard another grunt, which made me feel like there were two of whatever was over there. We decided to get moving quickly. I kept shouting “Hey bear!” as we left the area. We never saw or heard whatever it was after that.

After a short while, we paused along a swamp that was down in a valley. A chipmunk caught our attention. We talked loudly about it.

When we started moving again we both heard movement down by the swamp, not more than about 20 feet from us. At that point I saw a white flurry of movement from a deer’s white tail. I couldn’t see anything else due to the brush. It moved on quickly and more amazingly to us, quietly. We didn’t hear it as it moved through the dense brush. We had heard it stand up but we didn’t hear it as it left our area. Amazing that such a large animal could move so quietly around us. We were also surprised that it hadn’t decided to leave earlier as we stood noisily talking about the silly chipmunk.

We did see some things we were curious about. There were a lot of trees that had obviously been cleanly cut down - probably for anyone needing fire wood. Camping is allowed as long as it’s not done too close to the actual trail.

What was strange were the trees that appeared to have been broken off, many about 5-7 feet up. The strange part? They were all leaning in on one another in a tee pee like formation. We saw many of these, some in clusters, some as singles. The biggest was near the first clearing at marker #2, just before we had our animal encounter.

There were also trees, some very large and tall, that were arched. What causes that? Is it just snow fall, ice?

I’m not trying to suggest anything by my curiosity. It was just strange to see what could have been man-made constructs in areas that likely didn't see humans too often. More experienced outdoorsman might know exactly how these things happen. Whether they were made by people or just naturally fell that way, I just found them strange, and if man made, pointless.

We didn’t encounter much wild life after that. We thought we saw a deer at one point, but we weren’t sure. A black squirrel tried to jump on my head, effectively scaring the crap out of me. I thought a limb was going to hit me or something. We also heard what was likely a woodpecker pretty far off in the distance.

We were pretty tired by the time we reached the parking site. We were glad we hadn’t decided to go a longer route.

We ran into some hunters in the parking lot who had once lived in Flint. Hunting is also allowed in the forest, which makes hiking a bit more interesting doesn’t it?

Overall, it was great exercise. It was also relaxing. The wildlife encounters added some excitement. It was beautiful and peaceful.

I miss that wild, mossy, oaky smell already. Maybe I should have grabbed a limb or two.

Random Pointless Stuff About Me for No Reason

2010-08-27T11:45:00.006-04:00

From now on, I'm planting pumpkins. I bought three small plants for 79¢, and I planted them at my father's house because I ran out of room in my garden. I didn't expect them to take over quite this much territory. I don't think we'll have to buy any pumpkins this year. There are around 20 already full-size pumpkins.
I hate that little bumpy patch they put on the sidewalk just outside of department and grocery stores. Is it there to slow us down? Remind us that we're about to walk into a parking lot? Annoy us? Shake up the carbonated beverages we just bought?
People often suspect that I eat way more than I actually do.
I've never tried any form of recreational drugs. I've never even smoked a cigarette. I find cigars intriguing, but I figure I'll likely come down with some form of cancer without smoking, so why increase the chances?
I don't automatically look down on any of the people that do use recreational drugs or smoke.
I hope that doesn't sound like an endorsement. It's really not.
Could I be more non-commital?
I feel like I have friends that don't invite me over as often because they feel I'd be judgmental about their lifestyle, and that's totally not me.
We don't have cable, but I like to watch The Daily Show online. I hate it when the show goes "on break" for a few weeks because crazy things usually happen in our country during those breaks.
When the grocery store over charges me for something, I rarely bring it to their attention because I feel it's too much trouble. When they accidentally under charge me, I immediately let them know because it feels like I'm stealing.
I tend to over-think things.
The possibility of having to use a public restroom often makes me feel like I have to use the bathroom.
I can't pee if there are too many other people in a restroom and there isn't adequate view obstruction, even if I have an urgent need.
I don't like talking on the phone, even to people I like.
Are the following salutations offensive to anyone:
"Take it easy."
"Have a good one."
Is it strange that I feel awkward saying these phrases to women in particular?
I mean, those phrases really could imply many different things, some inappropriate.
If I enjoyed them on any level, I have trouble donating my used books. I know it's highly unlikely that I'll re-read most of them. My kids probably won't even enjoy them down the road.
I often leave my Bible or other spiritual reading material in full view inside my parked, unlocked car. I figure, if someone should steal it, they likely needed it more than I do.
Is it weird that I often travel with a Bible? It's one of those books that, even if you've read it already, there are still new mysteries to uncover, new perspectives to consider.
I think I need a robot doctor. I was uncomfortable with a male doctor when I was a teenager. I tried a female doctor in my twenties, and found it hard to discuss everything with her. How long until we get robot doctors? I think I could handle that.
I've never had a taste for beer. There are a few brands I like, but I drink less than a six-pack in an entire year. I have to be in the right social setting. There has to be a sense of comradery involved.
I might get legally drunk once a year, but even that's doubtful.
I'm equally picky about coffee. I have to have the right brand, creamer, and sugar.
McDonald's frappes give me headaches, but I love them anyway.

Randomness: August 26th, Owen Funnies

2010-08-26T09:53:00.005-04:00

Owen's eye is doing great! He's slowly gaining somewhat regular vision back. He may still need reading glasses, but that's nothing compared to what kids his age would go through thirty years ago.
Surgery for both boys is coming up this next week. Any extra prayers would be appreciated. Anyone that knows Gage, you know we're in for a doozy of a week.
We passed a funeral home in Mt. Morris last week. My mother-in-law stated that that would likely be the funeral home Owen's great grandparents would be using… when the time comes. Owen replied, "Are they going there today?"
Yes, we laughed, and then prayed that the day doesn't arrive for years to come.
Who knew loving your neighbor would involve butter?
Should I clarify?
The continued couponing often leaves us with a surplus of certain products. Prior to using coupons, we'd go through a tub of butter per week. Now, we're lucky to use one a month. I'm not sure why. I haven't figured that out yet. Butter is one of those things that you should never pay full price for. In fact, you should never pay more than about 29¢ for a tub. I've even gotten it for free. I'm trying to get in the habit of sharing our overstock with our neighbors. It keeps us… friendly.
Coupons have also helped us donate way more items to local shelters. That alone will keep me going on this stuff. Being unemployed, I thought my giving days were over. Now, I'm giving more than I used to. Mysterious ways indeed.
Owen came home from my dad's house last night. Apparently they had discussed beer (?). What is Sponge Bob teaching our kids again? Anyway, he randomly proclaims, as we sit down to dinner, that beer is illegal for kids to drink. We agreed, not really knowing where this was going. He kind of asked/stated that we were allowed to drink beer, and we explained that beer and alcohol were 'sometimes' things for us. Kind of like candy, alcohol is a sometimes thing. We really don't drink that often.
He then asked for a drink. I remembered that he'd requested root beer earlier in the day. I didn't really think anything of it as I poured him a cup. I set it down in front of him, and he jumped up from the table. "I can't have that. It's illegal!"
Did you ever notice how children prioritize their requests? They wait until they're in close proximity to you instead of when you are in close proximity to what they want you to do. For instance, waiting until you finally sit down to eat your dinner to ask you for a drink.
If you're ever in the Peavyhouse Florida Room and it smells like someone used it as a bathroom, that would be my son Gage's doing. The initial success of his toilet training has become more hit or miss lately. If you're ever inclined to use the Peavyhouse Florida Room as a bathroom, they're surprisingly gracious about it. I'm pretty sure we're not getting invited over anymore.
I've traveled up into the thumb (of Michigan) a couple of times this past week. I'm happy to see most of the area is still under developed. I can't wait to get back to hiking this Fall. I'm hoping to revisit Oscoda too.

Random Griping on My Part: Don't Think I Don't See the Irony

2010-08-13T09:27:00.005-04:00

The Flint area has been in the national spotlight the last few weeks because of serial killer activity. They've apparently caught the guy, and the public is acting in their usual ironically violent way. They're supposedly upset by the violence and death, but the first thing many people suggest is that we kill the killer… thus making killers out of ourselves.
Protestors outside of a party store where the suspect used to work threatening the store owner with violence, the store owner who had nothing to do with the violent acts of an ex-employee.
We love our violence don't we?
Society's biggest problem? The fact that society often can't see it's own obvious problems.
I had to turn the television off every time they used the term "Serial Stabber." Mid-Michigan news stations have an annoying habit of coming up with "down home" phrases because we apparently need to put our own spin on everything, including serial killing.
They released the video footage of a woman assaulting McDonald's workers because McNuggets weren't being served that early in the morning. I didn't laugh until the incident was over, and the next customer pulled up. I just kept thinking, what is going through that person's mind? Did they still get their breakfast? Did they still want it?
I've never had McNuggets that were so good that I'd attack someone that prevented me from having them.
I found this interesting post on Facebook: "Don't worry about the people in your past; There's a reason they didn't make it to your future." In most cases, you might want to look at the common denominator, namely yourself. I'm not saying we're always personally in the wrong when people leave our lives, but if there are that many people that you 'like' a Facbook page, how about a little self examination?
I really don't get the outrage over the proposed "Mosque at Ground Zero." For one thing, it's not actually at Ground Zero, and it's more of an Islamic Community Center. I think putting an actual Mosque directly on Ground Zero would be ironic justice. One of the terrorists' goals was to put a wedge between mainstream America and the Muslim world. If we're protesting Mosques [and denying one of our basic freedoms, the freedom of religion], I'd say score one more for the terrorists folks.
We have this opportunity to show the world that we really celebrate freedom and fight against fear. Instead, we choose to showcase our intolerance.
I cringed when I saw that the Today Show was highlighting an interview with Lindsey Lohan's mother. I don't often watch any of the morning shows anyway. They're way too out of touch with the normal things in my life, but I was flipping through the channels this morning. I caught maybe 30 seconds of the conversation. I was glad the interviewer wasn't making it a fluff piece. He said, "Surely you don't blame the tabloids for the actual legal trouble your daughter has gotten into?" Her mother responded, "Well no. She did get the one DUI, but the judge was extra harsh on her." I'm paraphrasing because I don't remember the actual words, but you get the idea. I had to laugh. I know a few people that have been through the DUI process. I don't think anyone was "extra harsh" because of her celebrity status. She got off easy in most people's estimation.

Surgery Day Journal: Parenthood

2010-08-12T17:02:00.001-04:00

From a journal entry: Monday, August 9th, 2010

Owen had his first eye surgery today. A hard day for us. We had to be to the Genesys Surgery Center (“The 600 Building”) at 6 a.m. Sleep wasn’t easy last night even though I felt pretty calm about what was coming.

We shipped Gage out to my parents’ house yesterday knowing that he would only add complications to an already complicated day.

Owen was thrilled to be awake so early. “It’s so dark out still,” he kept saying. He then told us stories about nocturnal animals including dinosaurs. I liked the one about the black T-rex that we needed to watch out for because he “eats all kinds of things.” I believe he was implying that we were included on the possible menu. It was all very random.

He was afraid of two things going in: The tube (IV) and the lasers that he thought would be shot at him. He was in good spirits in the waiting area. We were the first to arrive for the day. He enjoyed the fish tank.

Things got tense pretty quick when we went back into the pre-op area. He fought us on the one eye drop he had to get simply because the nurse said it might sting a little. It didn’t, and I wish she hadn’t even mentioned that part. It did dilate his eye rapidly.

She attached his blood pressure monitor without incident, but he freaked when she tried to attach his electrodes. She postponed them until after he was unconcious. They even gave him a huge lion balloon that floated in the room with us to calm him a little.

A young girl came in to get her tonsils removed. As we listened, we found we lived in a similar area. On Friday, Owen was stung by his first insect, likely a wasp or hornet due to the lack of stinger and multiple attach sites. This girl had been stung her first time over the weekend too.

The anesthesiologist was a fun guy, but Owen gave into fear when the guy started talking about going to sleep. That was enough to convince him that Owen needed a sedative to make sure he’d cooperate better. It made him loopy, but he was still pretty defiant. He moved around a lot more than he should have until they finally wheeled the bed away from us.

I had to hold back tears at that point. I hated that he had to go through all this.

Pam and my mom were in the waiting room with us. They must have recently remodeled the waiting room because they have a coffee and fountain drink bar there now. That was handy. It took about an hour for Dr. Stack to reappear with the good news that everything went fine.

Fifteen minutes later, they told us that he was waking up. He didn’t wake up happy. They had already had to re-tape his eye patch. He wasn’t opening his eyes, but he was combative. He wanted the patch off. As he awoke even more, he started to defy anything anyone said. Our nurse was convinced that we’d be in trouble if he had to wear the patch for 24 hours. I was worried too.

He wanted the patch off. He wanted the IV left in. He didn’t want a band-aid over the IV wound when the IV was out. He didn’t want his toy, stuffed wolf to wear a fake bandage, surgical mask, or hair net - which I thought was a great touch on the surgical staff’s part.

We left quickly after that. As soon as we were outside, all the fight went out of Owen. He was fine with the patch and everything else. He was still tired, but he stayed awake all the way home. He was pretty shaky for a few hours, not able to walk or sit up straight for very long.

So far, we’ve had no major pain issues. He’s annoyed by the patch, but he’s tolerating it fine.

We presented him with a toy, plush snake from the Rainforest Cafe in Great Lakes Crossing. He had seen it a few weeks back when he and I spent the day together down there. I traveled down there Saturday to pick it up. He seems to really like it. He says the snake looks angry. I told him it was really just concerned over his surgery. I then had to explain concerned, and then explain the word worried.

Owen’s energy level popped back up to normal quickly. He’s had visitors most of the day. Pam kept him the most occupied, which I’m grateful for. [Great] Grandpa and Grandma McBride brought him flowers and another balloon. My dad popped in with a Transformer. My mom is supposed to stop in later.

I don’t know how we’re going to get through this with Gage. We have a month to prepare, but it’s going to be hard. I don’t think he’ll tolerate the patch at all.

Heidi and Owen are napping right now. I’m very tired, but we have more company coming tonight. I’m behind on some other things too. Hopefully there’ll be more sleep tonight. We have to see the doctor in the morning to remove the patch.

Cataract Surgeries - Surgery 1: Owen

2010-08-09T21:33:00.004-04:00

There's something about the hardest days in parenting that bring out this undeniable, uncontrollable love that I have for my kids. It was a hard day today, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I realize how much this love is out-of-my-hands. It's piercing.

My Artists

2010-08-05T09:48:00.004-04:00

The things we inherit from our parents, the things we pass down to our kids, heredity can be amazing. I see things in my kids that shouldn't be passed on in genes.

I grieved a few months back when I found out my boys had carried on the curse of bad Buckley eyes. In the past few weeks, I've seen them both do something I didn't expect. They've apparently inherited my hands too, and hopefully that'll be a blessing to them. You see, in the last few weeks we've went through about a ream and a half of paper because both boys are drawing like mad men.

Gage's scribbles have repeating shapes. He seems to tell stories as he doodles, stories no one else can understand using words that aren't formed well enough. Usually when he's finished he'll survey his work and find accidental letters in the overlapping scribbles. It's funny to see him point out accidental A's or X's.

Owen can draw a dog better than most adults I know. He even drew a picture of me "when I was a little boy." It even had my goatie. When I pointed out that I didn't have facial hair when I was younger, he decided I must have spilled some water on my face.

I know, all kids doodle at these ages. I'm just hoping that my kids inherited something positive from me, some mysterious artist gene.

Gage: Aiming Stubborn in the Right Direction

2010-08-04T10:13:00.003-04:00

Gage is almost three years old now, and we've worried about him for a long time. We were afraid he was either autistic or in some way impaired developmentally because he rarely communicated verbally and exhibited other minor compulsive behaviors. He always seemed to understand a lot of what was going on, he just often chose not to participate, especially verbally.

A big part of this scenario had to do with his older brother Owen being the complete opposite. Owen was an easy kid. He met all of his developmental markers early. As soon as he started talking, he seemed to pick up new words quickly. His vocabulary increased steadily. If we introduced flash cards or new books, he immediately took to them, learning even more new words. He was responsive. The doctors assured us he was no genius, but it made life with our first child seem rather breezy.

Gage has been a child of resistance. He's stubborn. Even now, he hates flash cards. He'll play the 'which body part am I pointing at' game, but don't you dare bring out those flash cards! In his defense, he did start speaking right about the usual time, but his vocabulary just didn't take off like Owen's had. Grunting and pointing were his usual forms of communicating. He kept things simple.

He didn't even bother to differentiate between Mama and Papa. There simply was no Papa. Mama meant parent apparently. However, I suspect he may have just been teasing me because he'd often smirk and giggle when I'd insist on being called Papa.

When he reached the age of two, the lack of new words really concerned us. He would also avoid interacting with most other children even though he was constantly doing normal kid things with his older brother. At the park, he tended to keep to himself. Even more disturbing, he'd act in obsessive compulsive ways about walking the sidewalks and perimeters of the play areas. He would often get frustrated when he weren't picking up on his boredom. Instead of using words, he'd often just start screaming at the top of his lungs, which is fun at church, the grocery store, or waiting in line the library.

We talked to our pediatrician about this multiple times. We were assured over and over again not to worry about it. "He'll talk when he's ready. Maybe he doesn't have anything to say. My brother didn't talk until he was seven years old and now he's a successful politician."

They did multiple hearing tests. They checked his tongue to make sure it wasn't tied. They even tried some simple tests to make sure he wasn't autistic. They kept coming back to the same conclusions: His older brother often talks for him, even when we don't realize it, and Gage is just extremely stubborn.

Like the thawing of Winter, in March Gage started to change. He wasn't drastically different. He just started using more words. We had a long standing appointment with a county funded speech evaluator in April, but our worries were waning. She confirmed that Gage was not really behind in cognition or ability, he had a few pronunciation problems, and he should surely have a larger vocabulary.In her opinion, he could use a little help on a few things, but if he showed signs of increased vocabulary in the next few months, she felt he'd be fine.

Of course, he has gone on to meet and beat those expectations. He started speech therapy in July. His therapist noticed a few stumbling blocks. Gage tends to drop the beginning sounds of words instead of the ending sounds - which is rare but not unheard of. This makes it harder for us to reinforce the idea that he's using words correctly, making it more likely that he'll just give up and grunt or point.

Overall, as July wrapped up, she was confident he was going to do just fine without further therapy. She said that he simply doesn't exhibit the usual signs that children with severe speech handicaps do. She said he simply seems to be very stubborn about whichever activity he's currently interested in. No surprises there.

We're not really worried anymore. He's still the same old Gage in a lot of ways. It's still scary taking him into grocery stores, but he interacts with us a lot more. That sly sense of humor is still there. He loves to joke, and he now tells us when he thinks we're being funny.

We're now getting three and four word sentences and a ton of singing. Last week, during the quiet prayer during our church service, he was singing the Blues Clues theme song and dancing in the pew. I had to grin. His vocabulary is growing steadily all of a sudden, and he mimics the way he should have been doing a year ago.

We're not sure what sparked the thaw. It started just before any form of therapy or evaluation. Considering every evaluation he went through suggested that he understands way more than he lets on, perhaps Gage just understood that we had taken a large step toward getting him the help we thought he needed. Perhaps he was just waiting for the right time to make us look somewhat foolish. I wouldn't put it past the kid that still only seems to call me Papa when he's afraid of something. Every other time, I'm still Mama as he smirks and giggles.

He's been a lot more difficult than Owen was. He's still stubborn as can be, but we love him intensely.

Great Coupon Deals and More

2010-08-03T14:30:00.003-04:00

This is a great site. I've found tons of free things and great printable coupons here.

http://www.coupongeek.net/

Check it out. You can even 'like' their facebook page for convenient info.

Josh Garrels video - Zion & Babylon

2010-07-19T16:38:00.003-04:00

Diggin' this guy's music right now. Check it out:

V is for Vampire, B is for Bela Lugosi's Dead

2010-07-09T11:37:00.005-04:00

I credit Bela Lugosi and Universal's classic horror franchises with the popularization of the vampire. There had been prior vampire movies, but Lugosi brought something to the creature. I've heard some say it was sexuality but I'm not from the thirties and I'm straight, so… If you've seen the movie, a creepy charisma is clearly evident. I don't mean to detract from the source material. Bram Stoker's 1897 novel, Dracula is a classic. It's a little clunky to read, but again, that was a different era in books. If Universal's movie adaption had failed, I'm not so sure we'd have vampires on Sesame Street or on cereal boxes. I don't think my horror DVD collection would be so chock full of vampire variations.

When I was about seven years old, I insisted on dressing as a vampire for Halloween. I had a love/hate relationship with scary movies at that age. I loved to watch them on Saturday afternoons with my dad during the Saturday Thriller Double Feature, but I hated having watched them later that night. A vampire seemed like a cool costume. It was one of those classic plastic jobs with the picture of whichever character you were supposed to be on a colorful smock. The mask was that classic white-faced vampire with the hairstyle that came to a point on it's forehead, the one that never actually appeared in a movie but somehow became iconic. It was probably the cape that actually sold me. I wore the costume with pride that Halloween.

Like my love/hate feelings on horror movies at the time, I didn't much care for the costume residing in our house afterward. I didn't even like it when my parents hid it in the attic. I knew it was up there, and it scared me.

It didn't help that there was a guy in our neighborhood that built a fake coffin that he propped up in his front yard every year on Halloween night. He'd dress like a vampire and jump out every few minutes. As a kid, even when you know things are make-believe, your imagination often wins out in the wee hours of the night.

It was also around that time that I was in a supermarket checkout lane and I read a tabloid headline that claimed a real vampire had tried to abduct a young lady in Boston. The police had tried to arrest the monster, but he had eluded capture. Because I didn't understand that tabloids weren't actual newspapers, you can understand my terror.

What I'm getting at is, vampires used to be scary. I certainly never wanted to be a vampire as a kid. The supposed benefits to being undead were lost on my young mind. To me vampires were just soulless blood suckers.

Thanks to Anne Rice, vampires gained some humanity in the seventies and eighties. She played up the 'immortals with a conscience' angle. She made them alluring in a new way. Up until that point vampires had been metaphors for powerful men and night time, often bedroom oriented, activities, but Rice seemed to beg the question, don't you want to be that powerful man having the night time rendezvous? What if you could choose to only attack evil people, or better yet, animals? She had a great series of ongoing novels with evolving characters and plot lines. They really were well done.

This brings us to our current vampire craze. As a horror fan, I can hardly complain. I may not be thrilled with every aspect of it, but vampires are clearly popular right now.

My wife is in love with more than one series of vampire novels. I have to praise the Twilight series for that. I prefer the books that inspired the Tru Blood cable show.

I'm not so sure Twilight does much for the vampire as a monster, horror icon. Stephenie Meyer has taken most of the fright and bite out of her monsters and left them with all of the benefits, immortality, strength, speed, glitter skin.

Don't get me wrong. I get it. The series is really more about the somewhat plain teenaged girl winning the undying affections of more than one man. She's elevated to such high importance that huge, war-like battles are fought because of her. In a lot of ways it's a great and wonderful thing for those that enjoy it.

As a horror, vampire fan, Twilight leaves me cold so far. Vampires that walk around in the daylight are nothing new, but I don't get the glittering. Their bodies being hard as stone but burning like dry kindling is kind of confusing too. Racially specific werewolves? Teenaged girls causing monstrous (or is it monster full?) turf wars centered on small Alaskan towns where everyone wears grey and paints their houses varying shades of grey?

I'm not sure if Lugosi and Stoker would be proud or perplexed.

Short Mitch Albom interview

2010-07-08T13:19:00.001-04:00

Click here: This is a great, short interview with Mitch Albom.

Independence Day Weekend Randomness - the freedom of speech no matter how pointlessly expressed by me

2010-07-07T14:24:00.006-04:00

A friend of Heidi's invited us to her family's yearly Fourth of July bash on Saturday the 3rd. They live right on White Lake. Owen brought his swim suit and enjoyed the lake for about an hour. The plan was to let him dry off naturally in the hour or so we had before we planned on leaving. I took him out of the lake and was rooting around in our diaper bag to find his t-shirt. As I turned around I noticed that he had whipped his suit off and was standing there, in the middle of about fifty complete strangers, buck naked. I then had to more quickly root around to find something to cover him. Good times.
The following day, I let him wear another swim suit to our family gathering knowing there would be some opportunity for him to get wet. He walks into the center of the adult's shaded, relaxation/conversation area and casually blurts out, "I'm not even wearing any underwear right now!" Of course everyone thought it was hilarious, and it was much less embarrassing being around family, but still…
It's been hot this week. I thought I'd let you know, just in case you've been forcibly held captive in an air conditioned building.
I enjoy the Fourth as much as anybody, but it's celebrated for way too long in Burton. We usually start hearing fireworks around our neighborhood in late May and they usually last until August.
We had a lot of fun attending the various get togethers this past weekend. Jasen, I'll make sure to hide the squirt guns next time we come over.
I found it funny how many people posted "Happy Birthday America" on the 5th and not the 4th, likely because they received Monday off of work due to the actual holiday falling on a Sunday. Hopefully they were just extending the celebration and not truly mistaking the day.
I should probably include a good Gage story. He's not so much "ha-ha funny" as Owen often is. Last week we went to our neighborhood park. There was a group of three siblings playing together. The oldest girl was crossing the monkey bars and her croc shoes fell off. Her little brother, who appeared to be about two years old, quickly ran over and stole them. He left them about five feet out of her reach. I watched in horror as Gage ran over to the shoes and scooped them up. I totally thought he'd run away with them. Instead, he walked them right back to her. I was laughing, but it was with pride.
Gage is also doing better with his speech. He's been a little behind the curve, but he's catching up at an unbelievable rate. He qualified for speech classes this month. He only gets three half hour sessions, but he really impressed his instructor today.
I turned a year older this week. My age is finally catching up to my grey hair.
I had birthday breakfast with my folks and the boys, dinner with Heidi and the boys, and then ice cream cake with my in-laws and the boys.
Applebee's makes a great steak. It's no manicotti, but it's close.
Though the direction and production on the Twilight movies has improved, the overall female centric plot hasn't grown on me one bit. I get it. I do. The horror movie fan in me howls in lamentation over the missed possibilities and sparklies.
Toy Story 3 on the other hand, what a classic that series is becoming. I'm going to go ahead and say it - I think Buzz and Woody are replacing Mickey and Donald as Disney's top characters. No. I said it. I stand by it.
I saw the original Tron movie when I was a kid. Impressive then, but let's be honest, not exactly inspiring now. Strangely enough, they're making a sequel all these years later (?). It actually looks good, and the soundtrack on the trailer is exciting. I might have to look up a copy of the original, see if it holds up as poorly as I'm recalling.
It's amazing that local politicians with checkered pasts are now running for State Representative. I've really got to remember to go vote that day. Some of these guys have such unfortunate last names too. If you think you know who I'm referencing, who's to say? They're all such… I don't even know what to say anymore.
I wonder if I could put Applebee's steak inside of Italia Garden's manicotti…

4th of July

2010-07-06T07:24:00.000-04:00

Explaining the Sound Strike vs. Arizona

2010-07-01T17:10:00.000-04:00

Zack De La Rocha for The Sound Strike from Producciones Cimarrón on Vimeo.

Early Random Weekend - It's like you're reading ahead

2010-06-27T17:20:00.005-04:00

We spent some time with my cousin, Jasen Friday night out at that huge Davison park with all the wood and castle-like shapes. I think it's called Ambercrombie Park or something. Anyway… it only has one entrance and exit for the largest play area. So, if you stake out that area, your kids can't escape without you knowing. The only bad thing that could happen to them would involve someone grabbing them away over the fence or the whole falling down thing.
I kid.
I'm going to be a bit judgmental here: Heidi works in Linden, and we enjoy the Summer Happening event they hold every year mainly because she walks in the parade. The kids dig it. They get tons of free candy. Linden has a bunch of churches crammed into that little town, and they all come out in force for the festivities. Some of them do a great job reaching out. Free water on a hot day - great idea! Free tiny copy of the New Testament that most people already have eighteen copies of hidden away in a drawer because they're too afraid to recycle a copy of the Bible - not so much.
The one that really seemed strange to me this year was the church that had a horse-drawn covered wagon and all of its young ladies dressed in obvious quaker costumes (one of the girls was losing her costume a bit) while handing out flyers for their next series on leaving Egypt. I could understand if the series they were promoting had something to do with Little House on the Prairie times. That would make sense to me, but I don't think that's what was going on. I think they were trying to show that they promote values from a certain bygone era.
You know. I love me some Little House on the Prairie. There's nothing like those bygone times when it was okay for men twice their age to approach your pre-teen daughters with offers of marriage. You could then whoop the dude once for good measure before finally realizing how beneficial it would be to marry her off. Hey, one less mouth to feed. (I do actually love that show)
I personally just don't know of too many people that are looking for a church to help them make their lives more out of touch with reality. I know people want to instill better values than our world currently seems to promote, but I don't think going to the other end of the spectrum is what most people have in mind. Too many of us have seen the movie, Footloose, and we don't want to give Kevin Bacon any more dancing opportunities.
Maybe I was breathing too much car exhaust. Maybe it was just a gimmick to accommodate the covered wagon.
The couponing continues. It wasn't as impressive this week, but we didn't have as many coupons saved up. Our bill went from $90 down to $30. It's still better for our budget.
We went out with a few new friends this weekend. I think I did okay reminding myself that these were not my usual friends. I don't know all of their interests yet. I successfully avoided launching into some of the more typical subjects that I discuss with my other friends. It was a good time, good people.
You know how some people are alcoholics? I crave Manicotti from Italia Gardens that way. I think I have a problem. It calls to me…
Genesee County readers, did you know that Showcase West is no longer owned by Showcase? It's now Rave West or some crazy thing. I suspect they still have armed security at night. They have combos and some refills available, but they're a little tight lipped about the pricing on such things until you actually order them. Very suspicious in my opinion. They do have good matinee pricing though.
Our church had its first service in its permanent home Sunday. We even had cake. Wildwind's new home is 6020 Corunna Road in Flint Township. If you're looking for a transformative place, a place ripe with community, you should join us on Sunday mornings at 10:00 a.m. You can sit by me, if you actually know what I even look like. It's conveniently located near Fazoli's if that makes the deal even sweeter. Fazoli's has awesome bread sticks. wildwindchurch.com
Fazoli's doesn't have manicotti. Mmmmm… Manicotti.

Mid-Week Randomness

2010-06-23T08:45:00.003-04:00

Before we started couponing, I bought a Colgate Total Professional toothbrush. It was actually relatively inexpensive. No matter how many free toothbrushes we get, I'm still spending the three dollars to get another one of these. Best toothbrush I've ever had, and I'm not really into toothbrushes, so the fact that I"m gloating about one should mean something extra.
It's hard not to type teethbrushes for the plural of toothbrush.
We spent $31 this week on around $200 worth of stuff thanks to coupons. We have enough ice cream to last the entire summer. Not that I needed any ice cream.
They found cougars in upper Michigan this week. Or, more accurately, they finally found enough proof to satisfy skeptics. If you've ever hiked the wilder parts of Michigan, it's not hard to believe that things like cougars are hiding there. Our state is very undeveloped in a lot of ways, and I hope and pray it stays that way. On the other hand, I was afraid enough of wolves and bears while hiking. I really didn't need cougars on the list too.
We had this big plan to take Gage to his first movie this week. He loves the Toy Story movies. The plans were dashed when we found out they're not showing Toy Story 3 in 2-D anywhere but the drive-in. He wouldn't wear the 3-D glasses, and he'd likely be asleep before the drive-in got rolling.
Sometimes my best opportunity for spending time with my little brothers is picking them up at 11 p.m. from local concert halls and driving them home. Sometimes you have to seize those opportunities.
I wore my kids out last Friday. We started with a trip to the beach with my dad and brother, Bob. The boys played and swam. Gage zonked on the car ride home. We finished the day off at a great cook out at the Peavyhousehold. The boys played outside with their youngest until after dark. Inside, they continued to play as the girls played dress up. My boys were still interacting, but they had these confused looks on their faces. I think it was the dresses. Needless to say, they both were out like lights at when we finally put them to bed.
The strangest trend I noticed at the beach last week: Everyone was avoiding the shaded areas of the picnic area. When I was a kid, you had to get up at the crack of dawn to land a spot under one of the few shade trees. When we arrived Friday, there were multiple shaded areas available. Everyone was in the sun. Did someone decide that sunlight doesn't cause skin cancer?
Strangest trend I noticed at the Peavyhousehold gathering: Gage's unwillingness to speak to people paired with his piping right up when speaking to their dogs.
We tried to go to a petting zoo hosted by Lapeer's Farmer's Market. I guess it was seriously down sized at the last minute when they found out the animals weren't properly vaccinated or some strange thing. The boys got to see a goose and two chickens. With Lapeer and farming being somewhat synonymous you'd think their market would have been fantastic, but it was nothing compared to Flint's. It was overpriced and under stocked.
Father's Day is always so bland for me. Mother's Day is all happy, lovey, and eventful. What happens to us dads? Are we just too cool or modest to enjoy it a bit? I'm always more concerned with making sure my dad and father figures have a good day I think. It's like there's something integral to being a father that prevents us from making too much out of our "special day."
I highly recommend Shutter Island. Be prepared to watch it twice. The second time just to review all the obvious clues that you easily missed the first time.
Our church, Wildwind Community Church, is moving. We'll no longer be paying anyone rent. We'll have mortgage payments instead. Starting this Sunday at 10 a.m. we'll be meeting at 6020 Corunna Road in Flint. If you're looking for a transformative place to worship and grow, come join us.

Movie Reviews

2010-06-17T12:58:00.001-04:00

I’ve learned that one great way of dealing with stress is to occupy my mind with other things. Sometimes books are a great escape, but movies often work just as well. I’ve dived into movies the past few weeks.

SPOILER ALERT: These reviews contain spoilers and plot points. Read at your own discretion.

Dead Girl / Jennifer’s Body

Horror movies often symbolically deal with the trauma of growing up, specifically the teenaged years. These two movies easily fall into that category.

Dead Girl asks the disturbing question: How far would a teenaged boy, hopped up on hormones and inexperience, go to have sex with a woman out of his league? The most disturbing aspect being, these teenaged boys stumble upon a woman that is clearly undead but mostly healthy in appearance that has been restrained in an abandoned building. Tensions run high when one young man gives into temptation and the other resists. I don't think I need to go into detail here. Just let your imagination run wild and rest assured that most of what you can imagine was implied/off screen.

Jennifer’s Body approaches very similar territory from the female perspective. In this story, it’s the femme fatale breaking hearts and… necks. Beyond the subtext, this is a straight up, enjoyable horror movie. I’m not a fan of Megan Fox by any stretch, but she does a great job as the lead monster. I don’t quite undestand why so many horror fans shunned this one. It had a decent cast, a decent story, enough scare factor, and it wasn’t even a retread like most of the garbage out there recently.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

I really wanted to like this one. The costumes and production value are fantastic. It’s very artsy in points, very imaginitive, but it falls apart. It falls apart because Heath Ledger died half way through the movie. It was noble of the producers and director to try to save the movie. The movie deserved saving. It just couldn't be done.

The good doctor's Imaginarium offers up salvation or damnation. Those who enter see just how good they could be. They're given a glimpse of Heaven-like scenarios, and at the last second, they're tempted with very honest depictions of their old dirty habits. There's also a love triangle in there somewhere, and we find out that the Parnassus has been playing a dangerous game with the devil for ages.

Ledger’s performance was great. They recast his character using other well known actors and offer up a supernatural explanation. It actually makes sense to an extent, but it just doesn’t work. The story itself seems to drop off at that point. Maybe it’s just that it ends on such a negative, without the redemption you expect.

The Day the Earth Stood Still
2008 (remake)

I love the original 1951 movie, and the remake isn’t all that different. Keanu Reeves was a great choice as the unemotional Klaatu. This character in the original film was a little better defined, a little more likeable. He has a lot more interaction with the single mother/son in the original. He almost becomes a love interest to the female lead in that movie. We miss that here. In exchange for character development, we get special effects.

If I hadn’t seen the original, I might have found Reeves' character less enjoyable or understandable. So, I might be biased.

The motivation for the alien visit is also slightly different. The original was concerned with mankind’s invention of nuclear weapons and the history of warlike behavior among earthlings. Intelligent life forms on other planets feared that earthlings would someday declare war on the universe. They were willing to destroy Earth to protect themselves.

The modern version focused on our destruction of the environment and Earth’s impending demise at our hands. In this scenario, the other life forms weren’t concerned with their own welfare, but the welfare of Earth as a planet. In this scenario, the humans would have to be destroyed to save the planet.

I liked the remake. I liked the message it was sending. Over and over again, the humans kept saying, “Well, we know we need to change our ways, but we tend to only do that just before it’s too late.” Klaatu’s response, “You’ve got about five seconds until it’s too late.”

Up in the Air

What defines success for you? What makes you feel alive? Are those things the same? Should they be?

This movie asks a lot of questions about whether or not success in vocation is more important than having meaningful relationships with people.

Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) is a professional down sizer. He fires people for a living. There’s a lot of baggage attached to that, and he’s on the road 95% of the year. He defines success based on Frequent Flyer Miles. He has no friends, and he ignores his family. He doesn’t know much about love in any form.

Clooney is a great actor. It doesn’t matter what he does, how ridiculous his characters are supposed to be, he plays them straight (or perfectly crazy). His characters are always believable. I admire that.

My favorite part of the movie: Bingham asks a soon-to-be-groom with cold feet to think about his fondest memories. He then asks whether or not he was alone during those times or if there are other people involved. The answer of course being, life is better with other people in it.

My Love Affair with Banana Peppers

2010-06-10T15:10:00.002-04:00

I used to joke with my vegetarian friends that, if I switched to a vegetarian diet, I'd quickly starve to death. The list of vegetables I like was very short until I was in my thirties.

In my quest to eat healthier, I've come to love certain kinds of peppers. This is one of those statements that, if you had told me a few short years ago that I'd be craving banana peppers, I'd have told you that you were crazy.

I think the problem is, the hurtle I needed to get over involved green peppers. Green peppers are, of course, the grand-daddy of peppers. They're the staple pepper that everyone likes. To this day, I can't stand them. I hate the flavor. Always have.

My best friend in grade school brought them in his lunch almost every day as a snack. I thought he was crazy. I tried them multiple times usually resulting in gagging and sick feelings for the rest of the day. That's the extent to which I hate green peppers. Cooking them doesn't help either. Yuck.

I grew chili peppers in my garden last year. I knew I could use them to flavor salsa and chili. I even thought I might can some for friends, but that never happened. They became my gateway pepper. They rubbed me the right way. They opened my mind to new possibilities.

I've always liked the smell of cooking peppers. I especially like the smell of banana peppers on pizza. So, a few months ago, I tried them. They were great! I thought it must be because they were cooked though, dried from the heat with less flavor. But, I started to crave them after that. Before I knew what was happening, I was eating them on sandwiches right out of the can. I'm hooked now. It's actually becoming a problem. I'm putting them on everything.

I started buying other peppers to mix into my homemade guacamole. I even picked up a few Hungarian Yellows thinking they were similar to Bananas. They weren't bad raw… Well… They weren't bad tasting raw, but they did some gnarly things to my stomach. I won't be purchasing them again. Oy.

So, I can now add certain peppers to that growing list of things I used to hate but now love.

The list is as follows:

Broccoli
Salads
Cauliflower
Tartar Sauce
Brussels Sprouts
Asparagus
Artichoke Hearts
Egg Plant
Mayo (none of that Miracle Whip garbage)
Green Onions (every other kind is gross)
Cooked Carrots
Salsa
Avocado
Guacamole
Banana Peppers

I can't blame my parents for any of this either. They always tried to get me to try new things, and I totally believe that my taste buds were just different back then. I feel like such a big boy eating vegetables for a change. I wish I could like celery though. I've tried it so many times, and I still just hate it.

Poker Saved my Family… Sort of.

2010-06-07T16:12:00.001-04:00

The guy that got me into poker is now a pastor at our church. Sorry, couldn't resist starting with that line.

Seven years ago, I had no interest in poker. One night this friend called up and asked me to come over to watch a Texas Hold'Em poker tournament finish up on television. I was at a spot in my life where I was learning that expanding my horizons made life more abundant. The tournament was interesting. The next game my friend hosted, I attended and learned how to play. I was hooked.

I know. Poker, even Texas Hold'Em, is a form of gambling. Depending on how you play, money is exchanged. However, the way I've always played, no one can lose more or less than $5. We call it a buy-in. The entry fee buys you a set number of chips, the same set everyone starts with. At the end of the game, some people walk away with prizes, usually a portion of the entry fees collected. So, basically, you're only gambling symbolic chips. The chips themselves have no real value. Let's be honest, $5 is less than the cost of a movie, and we usually supply enough food to count as dinner. It's cheap entertainment, and more importantly, it's an easy way to keep in touch with people.

It wasn't long after my first game when an uncle of mine suggested we start a monthly game with our family and friends. I was all in. In a normal year, I might see my extended family once around Christmas time, but that was even getting rare. At this point, there were family connections that just seemed lost. No one knew what was going on with anyone else most of the time unless it was huge news. Our first game was a success. It was fun. It quickly became a monthly thing.

For almost four years, we had a regular game with around nine or ten guys every month. We'd sometimes skip a month or two around Christmas or in the heat of Summer. I missed a few when Owen was born. Each month someone new would host. There were no rules about missing a game here or there. We'd always re-extend the invitations. Sometimes people bring friends. Sometimes it's like we have a core set of players.

We've never played very seriously. At the beginning of each game we tend to discuss a few things: What are the winners going to receive? Are there any situations we need to clarify to any new players? We call this "house rules" implying that whomever is hosting decides ultimately what the rules are.

We keep it simple. We have fun. If people get too serious, we might not be as quick to invite them back.

We try to keep it a guys only event, but a few ladies have played here and there. It's guy time mostly. There's food that isn't good for us. There's beer and smoking. We don't watch our language as much. Sometimes jokes are told, but the ladies are never that far away.

Now I see my family almost every month. I get to catch up with aunts and uncles that don't use the internet to communicate. I see my grandmother more often. I get to hear about my cousins' families more often. We're far from strangers anymore. All of this has also lead to more family gatherings. My kids now know some of my extended family.

Texas Hold'Em is gambling, but it's a weak form in my estimation. I've never lost more than $5. It's never acted as a gateway game to other forms of gambling. It's too controlled. We do act a little more rough around the edges when we play, but it's given us a lot more. It's given us renewed relationships that were otherwise dying. It's given us something to look forward to on a regular basis, and I don't believe it's just the game because we could play the game in any number of other places. Poker has brought us back together.

It seems like we lapsed for about six months, but we recently fell right back into the old habit. We recently celebrated our fifth year anniversary. This past Saturday my Uncle Jim hosted out in North Branch. We had twelve players. I came in fourth. It was a great time. It's good to feel that warmth of family so regularly. The secret, of course, isn't poker. It's just being purposeful with life. It's finding reasons to get together and value one another.

Weekend Randomness - June 7

2010-06-07T15:40:00.004-04:00

We did some garage saling this past weekend. Heidi's grandparents live in a seniors' subdivision, and they had a subdivision-wide sale. It's hard to believe we found toys and DVDs at great prices.
Owen found three Transformers from the nineties for a quarter a piece.
I found one family selling all of their DVDs in favor of Blu-ray. I found Casablanca for $2 on DVD!!
I'm meeting more and more people without health insurance. A lot of these people are working full-time, professional jobs for big companies.
One family is paying $250 a month just to hold insurance that doesn't cover anything more than one (yes just one) yearly physical until a $5,000 deductible is met. They can't even go to the doctor if they're sick. It's almost like they have to hope that any injuries or illnesses they incur will cost more than $5,000.
One of my relatives said that he has very basic insurance that runs $40 a month but only covers himself. If he adds his wife, it will cost over $900 more a month.
A friend of mine had to take his daughter to the emergency room for what turned out to be a sprained ankle. His bill? Over $1,000 for a simple, very temporary splint. They don't have insurance.
I know a lot of people didn't like our president's ideas on reform, but at what point do we admit that what we're doing isn't working for too many people? I know we should worry about deficits, but will they even matter if entire generations of people can't even go to the doctor regularly? I know I'm relatively young, but this seems like madness to me.
My kids are tentatively scheduled for August eye surgeries, possibly both on the same day.
The stress, even though I'm trying to deal with it, is eating me up. My wife and I both are showing physical signs of being under too much pressure.
I don't drink alcohol very often, maybe two or three times a year. Actually getting drunk is even more rare for me. But, I'm beginning to understand why my dad has an alcohol problem. Escaping temporarily is very tempting.
I'm currently reading three faith-oriented books. I hate reading more than two at a time, but one is for a reading group, the other is with a friend, the third just for fun. The funny thing is, the books couldn't be more different. One is very conservative, one is extremely liberal, and the third can only be described as radical.

Breaking Benjamin

2010-06-07T15:35:00.001-04:00

I recently stumbled upon a few old CDs of mine. Forgot how much I enjoy this band:

Memorial Day Weekend Randomness

2010-06-02T13:33:00.003-04:00

I hate to be judgmental, but if you have a cross tattoo that covers you're entire back and another on your chest, dropping the f-bomb every other word loudly out in public with your own kids around, as well as many other children, seems extra wrong somehow.
I'm far from perfect. I'm just saying.
I read an article late last week that suggested that it was counter productive for parents to neglect teaching their children about their specific race and heritage. It suggested that it actually caused them to be more racist because "everyone assumes they're white," and it can be very traumatic for kids when they find out that they're not. This is posted on a website designed to fight racism. To a certain extent, I'm simplifying. Our kids interact with diverse groups of other kids all the time. The differences have yet to come up, and I couldn't be happier about that. We have no plans to ever explain that there may be some differences or that they in any way matter. One commenter sited a Newsweek article that suggested kids become racist in such situations because they are "taught that the subject is taboo" and "therefore they are superior to other races in some way." I replied that it likely had more to do with a lack of interaction with people that are different. If your kids play with kids that are obviously different than themselves, but never notice, how can they develop the idea that the other races are taboo or inferior? I'm just confounded by the idea that we teach our kids to ignore the differences by pointing out the differences specifically.
To be perfectly honest, the only "difference" Owen has ever pointed out happens when he sees tall people. He honestly believes that these people are giants, and he very publicly announces such ideas.
On a similar note: We sat comfortably in a McDonald's at one point this weekend eating ice cream. Another family that was sitting closely by started loudly discussing their son's upcoming first visit to a Christian church with his friend. The father starting making some very comical (to me anyway) statements about Christians. He said that Christians view outsiders as narrow minded people. He then asked what his kids considered appropriate attire would be. I had to bite my tongue as he suggested shorts would be highly inappropriate for church. I wear shorts just about every weekend in the summer to our church. I believe the only dress code at our church is: Don't wear clothing that is in any way R-rated.
I've found that stereotyping any religion, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, is like stereotyping most anything else. It's a bit futile. There are millions of mosques, churches, and synagogs with different ideas about dress codes, not to mention the tens of thousands of denominations with slightly differing ideas and ideals.
I had to bite my tongue, but I kept focused on our own family conversations. It's hard to be stereotyped though. Speaking up would have likely reinforced another Christian stereotype that I've never much appreciated.
I caught Johnny Cash's Gospel Road DVD from Netflix this weekend. I've always loved his music, and his faith has always been an inspiration to me too. I love the scene in Walk the Line where the record exec points out that Cash's Christian, gospel music listening base won't like it if he decides to have a concert for the inmates at Folsom Prison. He replies, "Then they aren't real Christians are they?" Gospel Road was dated, the music was good, but the actors that were hired were way off. I'm pretty sure most of the people in the Bible weren't caucasian. It was the seventies though. What can you do?
I picked up a comic book for the first time in years this past weekend. Art Adams penciling any form of X-Men can't be ignored. His artwork is phenomenal.

My Eyes and My Heart

2010-05-28T10:24:00.005-04:00

This entry is an attempt at catharsis for me. You might find it somewhat whiny. If that's the case, I apologize.

My family has a "genetic predisposition" for childhood cataracts on my father's side. As far back as we can trace, it has made life more difficult. Those of us born in the last seventy years or so have actually been the "lucky" ones. Corrective surgery, especially in children, is a recent development. From what I've heard, my great grandfather never had any form of corrective surgery, even after it became more common place. He simply learned to live blind.

A cataract is a medical condition that causes the lens of the eye to become progressively opaque. Treatment involves removing or at least destroying the defective lense (I still have some remnants of my original lens floating in one of my eyes). In most cases, artificial lenses are inserted at the time of cataract removal.

Cataracts in children are rare, and the causes are varied. It's hard to find statistics. My wife read that there were 3 cases for every 10,000 children. They can be caused by infection, hereditary factors, and various syndromes.

My grandfather used to tell the story of his surgery, and it was horrifying. He woke up with a brick on either side of his head to prevent movement, he was tied to the hospital bed for days, and had to be hand fed.

My surgery wasn't that traumatic, but it was one of the most traumatic times of my life. I was almost four years old. I was the first child that my surgeon had encountered with cataracts. I had to spend two to three days in the hospital in a children's ward. My parents were only allowed to stay overnight on the first night, and that was in the waiting room area. They tried to make me more comfortable by telling me that my parents were actually just retiring to another room after visiting hours, but even at that age, I knew that didn't add up.

It didn't help that they had a ward instead of individual rooms. The kid across from my bed had been badly burned. He was in his teens, and he hated it whenever I'd get whiny or cry for my parents.

One night it hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew my mom had left for the night, and that I couldn't see her. I started screaming and tore the protective patch off my recently operated on eye. The nurse calmed me down, replaced my patch, and rocked me to sleep. I don't remember a lot of pain, just fear and separation.

After the operations, I could only sleep at night if I was in bed with one of my parents. I had an extreme fear of separation that I'd never had before. I'd wake up screaming with nightmares about the hospital.

In those days (1977/1978), they didn't replace the defective lens with an artificial one. I had to wear what are commonly known as "Coke-bottle glasses." The vision isn't bad. There's no peripheral sight of course, but the vision is pretty clear. Without the glasses, everything is extremely blurry.

You can imagine the stereotyping and bullying I endured for most of my childhood because of these glasses. By the time I was ready for contact lenses, my self esteem was firmly set at low. I only recently received artificial implants.

As a young man, I'd daydream about what it would be like to be a husband and eventual father. It was always something that I looked forward to, but a dark thought would often fill me with dread: what if my kids inherited my eye problems?

The nightmare came true for me this week. My oldest son, Owen was diagnosed on Monday. Since his birth we've had him periodically checked. Last year he went to see an optometrist who confidently stated that he was cataract free even though he was showing signs of being near sighted. His failure of two recent vision tests for kindergarten had us visiting a new optometrist who quickly noticed the cataracts.

I've been trying to be brave and strong, but it's heartbreaking. I hate that he will never have 20/20 vision. I hate that he has to go through any kind of surgery, even though the process has gotten so streamlined that he'll likely not have to stay in the hospital at all.

More than anything though, I pray that the process doesn't traumatize him. I pray it doesn't take away an ounce of his innocence, his fun.

It's doubtful that he'll have to wear thick glasses, so I think he'll escape most of the bullying and stereotyping, which I'm grateful for. People keep saying that all of those hard situations molded me into who I am now, they made me a stronger person. I see their point. I see how the same situations molded my cousins into good people, tolerant people, but I can't imagine ever wanting my kids to go through it all the same.

My parents are especially understanding, and have pledged to do everything possible to help (as have many friends). My mom is taking it pretty hard. All of Owen's grandparents have stepped up their doting.

We're still in the early stages of the process. He has another appointment with the actual surgeon next Tuesday. We're being told he's the most experienced pediatric cataract surgeon in Genesee County, which is a relief. I'm full of anxiety about weeks filled with eye drops that Owen already hates, after surgery pain, Owen's frustration over everything. I know, in the end, it has to be done, and Owen will be able to see at least as good as I can. I know there's light at the end of the tunnel, but we're at the farthest point away right now.

I've been praying and will continue.

Late Randomness

2010-05-26T17:57:00.004-04:00

"Vacationing" with the kids isn't like the vacations I remember from just a few short years ago. There was no down time. There was no care-free, we're disconnected from the world realizations. There was just us trying to keep the kids in line, entertained, and engaged. Don't get me wrong, it was still a great time, very memorable, but there were some things I missed.
My wife is a guru at planning cheaper vacations. We wanted to take Owen to Cedar Point last year, but couldn't afford it. So, we jumped on the pre-Memorial Day hotel rates this year. She tracked down some discounted park tickets, and we invited our parents along to share in the room costs. (My parents declined) We were only gone for two nights.
Owen had to warm up to the rides at CP. He started with things that stayed on the ground and required no input from him. Little brother Gage had no problem jumping on anything he saw. Eventually Owen caught up.
I took Owen on the Junior Gemini expecting him to freak out. As we exited the ride he asked whether or not they had any other roller coasters. We proceeded to ride the larger, faster Woodstock Express multiple times.
I'm a bit of a wuss when it comes to roller coasters. I prefer less hills, and fewer drops. I can handle upside down, twirling until sick, but I hate being dropped in any way. I went on the Gemini for the first time this visit.
Stop laughing.
In public restrooms, why is the toilet paper often positioned behind you on the left?
I hate to tell whoever does the restroom budgeting, but you can use the thinnest one-ply paper you want, it's just going to make everyone use four times as much.
One of my long-time, personal nightmares came true this week. My son Owen was diagnosed with cataracts, something that runs in our family, something I went through as a child at his age. I'm trying to keep a brave front up, but it's hard, especially when I spend time with him one-on-one. I know treatments for this condition have come a long way in the past thirty years, but it's hard to think about putting him through even the improved methods. Taking deep breaths.
I've said it before. I'll say it again. If you want to learn about God and why or how He could love us, become a parent.

Random Things from My Weekend - May 17th

2010-05-17T10:52:00.004-04:00

Is it weird that I know why Hebrew National hotdogs come in a pack of seven instead of eight?
Owen is going through a stage where many of the other kids at the parks and play areas we visit don't want to play with him. They're often family groups that don't play with any unknown kids. He doesn't really pick up on this well. He usually just tags along anyway. The hard part is, we pick up on it immediately. We often leave biting our tongues, wanting to say something to the effect of, "You all have man kids. It's been great spending time with them."
On our way home from our neighborhood park last night I talked to him about deciding to be mean or deciding to be nice. One little girl had been particularly rude as we left telling him that he wasn't welcome at the park anymore. I looked at her father to see if he would add anything. He did not. On our walk home, I told Owen that it was okay for kids to decide that they didn't want to play along with him. He got really flustered and struggled to basically say, "What part of not wanting to play with me is okay?" I told him that everyone has the right to decide whether or not they want to play with someone else, but hopefully they'd express their decision in a nice way instead of being mean. I explained that I hoped he'd always choose to be nice to people.
He's four, and I'm already having what feel like deep, meaningful talks with him.
We attended a fun cookout this weekend. Our first of the year.
Owen spent some of his savings money this weekend on a rubber snake from Target. The cashier screamed and literally jumped backward when it came down the line. She refused to ring it up. Her coworker had to come over.
Both of our sons spent the night with grandparents Saturday. We're still in reprogram mode.
I hate yard work (mowing, weeding, trimming), but I love planting and gardening. I planted grass seed this weekend.
I can't wait to finish planting our garden next weekend. We've been trying to be "greener" for a few years now. Our garden saves us money, makes me feel productive, and in a round about way, lessens our carbon footprint. There's something about dirt, seeds, and my attention that feels so spiritual to me. It's like I'm participating in something… that I was made to do.
I'm almost finished with How to be Good by Nick Hornby. It's fiction, funny, and British, but it deals very realistically with relationship/marital issues. I'm finding it very timely. It even has parallel themes to a recent sermon our pastor gave. Thank you Katie M. for the suggestion. I'm reading a few other books too. I don't usually read more than one or two at a time, but they're all so good.

Mudvayne - World So Cold

2010-05-11T08:52:00.000-04:00

Weekend Randomness Parenting Heavy Edition

2010-05-10T15:16:00.009-04:00

I was looking through a bunch of old photos last week, preparing a project or two for Mother's Day. Found this photo of my parents and maternal grandparents. My dad is the guy with the beard (obviously), but my youngest brother Bill is the spitting image of him in this photo. Bill even thought that it was himself when given a quick glance of the photo. Even the way he's standing is apparently a genetic trait.
I attended "Mother's Day Tea" at Owen's preschool last Friday. Luckily I was far from the only male present.
There was mainly just singing. Owen didn't know most of the words. At first, I thought he was just being shy. He kept looking at me, and his expression seemed to ask, "Will I get into trouble with you if I sing along?" I kept trying to get him to participate.
Luckily he wasn't the only one not singing. There was the clearly angry kid that was protesting this public group activity, and there was the kid who was moved to loud sobbing because he really, really, really didn't want to be singing.
There was one teacher, her whole job was to hand out tissues to the kids before they got too far into their nose picking.
Cookies and lemonade followed.
Owen had a physical/"well visit" last Friday.
Parenting moment that stops you dead in your tracks with dread: Receptionist at the pediatricians' office telling you that your four year old, who has never done such a thing before, will have to pee into a cup that you hold. To the best of my knowledge, my kids can't pee on command, and I was certain we'd be there for hours waiting. Just then, God must have heard an unspoken prayer from the depths of my soul because Owen states very loudly and publicly, "Papa? I have to go pee right now!"
It went… okay. I wish there had been paper towels in their restrooms. Now I know what the little metal door in the wall is for.
Despite the fact that I'd asked six months prior whether Owen needed any vaccinations at that time and being told no, he was "late" for a few. I had assured him earlier in the day he wouldn't need more than one or two. He needed five!
Watching your children cry out in pain because of vaccinations, not easy.
With the rain last week, we were forced to take our kids to many indoor play areas. They've gotten used to the extra exercise with our frequent park excursions throughout the week. There were some hard lessons for Owen on more than one occasion last week. You see, sometimes it's fun to pretend that one group of kids is the "alien" or "monster." It all works out okay when it's a group, but sometimes your kid is singled out as a single alien. Usually parents are quick to perceive what's going on and intervene, but sometimes parents don't really care or even seem to remember that they brought progeny.
Owen has also failed two vision tests. I'm praying he hasn't inherited the family curse of early onset cataracts. Praying, praying, praying. If I have trouble when he gets vaccinations, I'm not sure how I'd get through eye surgery.
Gage is finally stringing words together. Last week he ran in very randomly to ask, "Papa? I ah Beezzah?" Which translates into, "Dad? Can I have a pizza?" The kid goes nuts for pizza.
Can't wait for him to go nuts for using the big boy potty.
Gage also likes Buddy Holly. I've never heard him attempt to sing before playing Buddy Holly's greatest hits last week while we were driving around.
Sorry. I've got to say it. I'm sick of all the Iron Man hype. I love comic books. Liked the first movie enough to watch it twice on DVD. Meh.
Thanks to a friend of mine and Relevant FM, I've been listening to a band called 'Fun.' I'm really digging that.
Is it wrong that I talked my kids into picking out slightly sexy pajamas as a gift for my wife for Mother's Day?

A Quick Thought…

2010-04-30T08:00:00.002-04:00

So many Americans are currently concerned, fearful that we're headed into a Communist, Marxist, Socialist, or even Nazi like era in American History due to various reforms. I'm wondering, today, how many of those same people are okay with certain groups of people in Arizona being required to carry around identification papers everywhere they go simply because they are different?

Sure Signs that Your Date Isn't Going Well

2010-04-29T16:49:00.003-04:00

Explanation: I used to write and produce these "comedy" books when I worked in fast food. They were usually a way of blowing off steam. I was young, single, angry… This is a highly edited excerpt from one of the pages. I know. It's sophomoric at best. My fast food friends used to enjoy them. I still laugh at some of this stuff, but as in the past, sometimes I'm the only one laughing. If you can't make yourself laugh…

Sure Signs that Your Date Isn't Going Well…

Shortly after attempting to steal a kiss, your date begins to gag.
It's no mystery to anyone that your date likes to throw rocks.
Your dates asks to make a pit stop at the health department before dinner.
Your date has prison stories.
You realize the strange object in your date's waste band is a gun.
You realize your date is easy, but not because they're having any kind of relations with you… yet…
You gladly break the law by stealing a car just to get home.
Multiple personalities are obvious.
The subject of "how much money you have on you" keeps coming up.
Part of your date takes place on a talk show.
One of you keeps shouting the word "rash" for no apparent reason while in a very public place.

I don't miss the dating scene.

Random Things from My Weekend - April 26th

2010-04-26T16:26:00.002-04:00

How to Train Your Dragon was a great, fun movie. We took Owen Sunday morning.
I think every movie should be designed with 3D in mind even if it isn't shown in 3D. We saw the Dragon cartoon in 2D, and the angles and action were really great. You could tell it was supposed to be viewed in 3D.
On our way to Babies 'R Us, Owen asked why we were going there. I said, "To shop for a new baby of course." I eventually had him convinced that we were just looking at new babies today, but we were considering trading Gage in. That's when my wife became disapproving.
While Heidi was shopping Babies… I took the boys into the neighboring Toys 'R Us thinking that would keep them more entertained. Every time I go in there, which isn't very often, they have about 4 employees for every customer. How do they keep that up? Perhaps toys are just that profitable.
Avatar is out on DVD, and it's making me hate my ancient, small, standard television even more.
Celebrated my father-in-law's 50th birthday at Sharky's Saturday. I don't really understand why they have so much security there. Probably better that I don't understand.
Owen stayed at my parents' house last week for a few days. As we were leaving he asked my parents for hugs and kisses. My dad explained that grandpas don't kiss. Owen asked, "Why? Do you bite like a dog?"
Our church currently shares a building with another church. Not sure who, but someone brought in some Matchbox/Hot Wheels type jets to keep in the preschool room. All the boys wanted to take them home yesterday. Anyone know where you can buy such things? Walmart and Meijer were a no go. Maybe Toys 'R Us has a better selection.
Reading Lord, Save Us from Your Followers by Dan Merchant. It was on the clearance wrack at FCS. It's fun, but each chapter is a totally different format.
I'm getting really good at making homemade Guacamole.